I am up late tonight with serious worry and stress over my current live-in situation with my first boyfriend..err..not sure if I could even label him as such. See, I have never been in a true relationship...This is my first one that I count as a real relationship with my opposite sex. It hasn't been easy, and they come with their challenges for sure, but I have given up even putting any effort to argue or put any passion into this relationship mainly based on my inferiority complex that is pretty much inborn and not exactly all from my traumatic error. I am worrying over moving on, because I keep re living how together I felt with this person when we first met, but it all started going downhill over a year ago, he started showing his 'true colors': gaming, looking at his phone, being extremely stingy about things and a few other things that I won't bother mentioning. He is also full of empty promises and contradictions. Again, it's futile to name them..he just IS. I'll keep it that way. However, because of his background and all his interesting personal experiences he's had before 'me'..I feel somewhat inferior to him. He is not wealthy, we are both financially being zapped, so that's also another reason. I feel like I am dragging him down by not making more money..I feel like my small act job is shrinking my 'value' as relationship material. I feel genetically inferior, geographically-inferior/status-inferior. The only real redeeming qualities about me are my genuine compassion and ethics, and the fact I am at least trying to make a life for myself, with school and holding down work, and having a car. I am otherwise, unremarkable =( I am otherwise, having no interesting stories to share about my life...he's done alot more..I am nothing..I don't know why I exist..I have nothing to talk about my life..to share..to WANT to open up about, or to reveal. I am dreading tomorrow if it will just be another 'today'...every day with him is the SAME way. No contact. No communication. No Memories. What IS THIS I'M IN?? What is he doing with me then? I am having a mini crisis right now..sorry. I can't sleep, but have to work tomorrow and obsess over this at work all day, because the sad part is I don't look forward to going home anymore. It's too boring and i'm reminded that i'm in a failed relationship, and my co workers talk to me more and seem to care more but they don't know me. Can anyone else relate? Like have this horrible inferiority complex about your life/who you are that keeps you from fully embracing relationships? Or just getting into one in the first place? I am veering towards quitting this, and going solo for ever. I will never feel good enough, especially because I'm only getting 'older' and men don't want that, do they?