if it weren't for them I'd have blown my brains out long ago. my usefullness is over. no one loves me but my dogs, so I'm forced to live only to care for them. my life has no meaning, no value. I drive without my seatbelt a lot, hoping to meet a fatal accident. I'm only living for my dogs. I hate my kids and my own useles life and wish it were over. death couldn't be as painful as dealing with my nasty kids. my dogs are the only ones who care about me. no one else does, including myself!