I am only alive cause of my dogs

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by theleastofthese, Sep 17, 2009.

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  1. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    if it weren't for them I'd have blown my brains out long ago. my usefullness is over. no one loves me but my dogs, so I'm forced to live only to care for them. my life has no meaning, no value. I drive without my seatbelt a lot, hoping to meet a fatal accident. I'm only living for my dogs. I hate my kids and my own useles life and wish it were over. death couldn't be as painful as dealing with my nasty kids. my dogs are the only ones who care about me. no one else does, including myself!
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    What kind of dogs?
  3. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    Animals are great. They're unconditional love. I have two cats and they're the life of the house. It doesn't make disappear the emptiness and helplessness, and very moments of dispair. But they can make me smile. So I guess I know the feelings, somewhat.
  4. poetbassplayer

    poetbassplayer Active Member

    I adopted two cats from the animal shelter as a buffer so I would be less likely to hang my self, overdose or seppku (slice my guts open and bleed to death) then another cat adopted me (found her in the parking lot at work)
    When ever i cry they comfort me and the little stray her name is mischief always seems to know and will curl up with me when i lay down.Lately i have been suicidal depressed missing my kids the life i had where i was living now i am alone with my three cats feel so useless and helpless i know if shadow thor and mischief were not around i wuold go through with it no doubt....depression sucks....here come the tears have to go write some poems.....

  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have a 13 yr old beagirl and a nine yr old shiba who's diabetic and blind. They are the light of my life, and my only reason for staying alive cause I won't abandon them.
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Wish I could have a dog but my parents dont like them in the house. They seem so real to me, like living creatures. Im not really used to them myself but I grew fond of one my relatives dogs. I could imagine just sitting by it through the day, they are pretty cool because you can talk to them.
  7. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I read your last thread where you talk about wanting to die in your sleep so as to not let your kids no you took your own life. So I sense that perhaps you might not really "hate" them. If this is so, can you tell me why? I think this goes a long way toward the reason that you want to end it...you feel unloved.

    Maybe you've talked about it before. If so, I apologize, but if you don't mind it might help us to understand what the dynamic is here.

    In any event, I'm glad you have your dogs. I also, hope you get a couple new ones to have around. If you want to pm, I'm available.

  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My therapist talked me into getting a dog.. She said it would help me to learn to love again.. At first I asked myself what the hell did you do that for.. After about a month he won my heart.. I love him big time..I still haven't learned to love others yet but I am working on that..I think the love is still in you, it is just masked from all the pain..I hope that one day you will be able to see thru it and learn to love yourself..Thats where it all starts..Take care!!
  9. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I destroyed my life because of my dog, with a little help from some greedy people, put my dogs need before mine, i put him to sleep last year and I miss him

    dogs are the best thing in the world, cant get another dog because I cant afford it and I am to fucked as a human being

    miss my dog and hate the greedy scum who destroyed my life, how I want them to pay

    damn do I miss my fucking dog
  10. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I couldn't love ya more Least :) :hug:
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: I'm glad that you find comfort in your pets,at least. Keep holding on x
  12. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    My dog, a German Shorthaired Pointer died April 14, 2004. He withered slowly from cancer and I was by his side, stressed and sleepless trying to get him to eat or drink without vomiting. We were both skeletons, he from the cancer and myself from the stress when he had to be put down.

    It was a horror, me cradling his bony body wrapped up in a blanket crying hysterically while my Father was digging his grave next to our other departed dog in the rain. He was my little Brother and I'll never stop mourning him.

    Theleastofthese, I hope you add another dog to your life they are beautiful creatures.
  13. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Living, loving & caring for your dogs is a marvellous reason to carry on! You know what, I think dogs really do love a good owner in the truest sense of the word. Many humans could learn a lot from dogs! I recently saved a 3 yr old b/w Staffordshire Bull Terrier from being euthanised by his cruel selfish owner. He had a wonderful temperament, infectious energy, and was very handsome. I'd have kept him, alas I'm allergic, so he went to a doggie shelter. I only had him for one week, but it was a brilliant week - it's one of the best r'ships I've ever had, lol.
    I, too, have been driving without a seatbelt for a couple of months now. My life is largely constricted, so I choose to feel free behind the wheel.
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