I AM POed at SF

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by claycad, Oct 17, 2006.

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  1. claycad

    claycad Well-Known Member

    I assume all who know me have noticed that my avatar has changed. Why you ask? Have I found religion? NO! My old avatar was deleted by a moderator who will remain nameless (you know who you are) with the message that my old avatar could spark a religious debate.

    There is absolutely no mention in the rules against religious debates, none!

    I have had this avatar for almost as long as I have been a member with not one complaint as well.

    Now you may have noticed that my new avatar is a religious cross. This must be okay because it is a SF pre-defined avatar...they also have a pentacle avatar as well. Okay, I admit a cross might not be as likely to spark a religious debate as my old avatar, but if they don't want religious debates they should make clear mention in the rules (I'm guessing they will now) and also not have pre-defined religious symbols for use as avatars.

    I am not the only one with religious avatars either, I guess pro-religion is okay eh?

    Either way, most of you know my religious views, and it is because of those views I feel I am most suicidal so I feel they are very pertinent to my posts here on SF. And I try not to offend anyone, and if I do, I usually apologize for my contempt. If anyone disagrees with my views/avatar by all means block my username and you won't have to read my posts or see my avatars!

    Anyway, I am quit offended by the hypocrisy. Just wanted some other views. Do you agree or disagree with the mod who deleted my avatar? Keep in mind that this is a public forum, you can block any user you want (including me) and I am certainly not the only one who makes religious comments or has religious avatars. I have read several other posts either preaching or renouncing faith. I feel I am being very discriminated against by the mod just because he/she doesn't agree with my views!

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2006
  2. Convergence

    Convergence Guest

    I agree that the mods are only looking out for the best intentions of the users of SF. But they can also be a little anal sometimes. about the same as the methods rules. That makes sense.

    Though, if it causes a religious debate, you should be able to sign in your signature that any debates are to be discuss with you, and not openyl ridiculed. Because I believe in the freedom of belief, isn't this only a logical solution?

    I hope you can get it resolved.
  3. claycad: this is a good opportunity to practice the art of letting go.
    Whenever you suffer, ask yourself: "What am I attached to?"

  4. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I'm not too worried about religious debates, I generally just close them down if they get out of hand. It was I who deleted your avatar and asked the moderator in question to send you a polite pm, I don't know what was in that pm.

    Basically your avatar was deleted because it offended someone, we rarely get complaints about avatars on the site so if someone finds something offensive we generally oblige if there's any cause for concern.

    I'm sorry someone found your avatar offensive but it does happen from time to time. Managing relationships is pretty hard at the best of times but handling a forum filled with people in or on the edge of crisis (myself included from time to time) but we do our best here to keep everyone happy.

    As you mentioned, you go out of your way not to offend someone and apologise if you step over the line inadvertanly, that's very noble of you and I respect that and I hope you can see that your avatar caused one person pain to look at it and hope that you will choose another avatar which hopefully will not offend anyone else.
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I also think that there is nothing wrong with their decision...they are just looking out for others, if someone has a specific issue with something and it causes pain and grief why make a big deal out of it hun?

    I personally don't think there is anything wrong with being possitive with a beleif then be bitter about something that if doesn't exist why is it such a big deal?

    I do not mean to offend you... I was just curious.


    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2006
  6. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    hey clay

    sorry u r up set... i cant say to much about your avatar... i have the sigs and avatars turned off to speed up my comp....

    but i can say that your thoughts and concerns and input is valued.. so i am sure we will figre out what happened and i am sure it will be resolved...

    as for anal... well i guess we all can b a bit anal when you realize that some decisions we make may effect the mental health and well being of the very appreciated .. and valued members here... so i guess we err on the side of causion... sometimes it may be anal.. but i am really glad that you guys feel comfortable bringing it up to us...
    thankx ... hugs and hopes...
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2006
  7. claycad

    claycad Well-Known Member

    If my avatar offended someone, I understand, although I wish that would have been the reason told to me to begin with.

    I have never meant to offend anyone, but I have to be honest, I don't understand why the person offended didn't just block my username, if my avatar offends them that bad, I'm sure my posts do as well.

    I’ve never felt any reason to block any user on any forum I have been on…mainly because I myself am not easily offended…but I know some people are, that is why they allow you to block users…

    Eitherway, I'm not upset, just perturbed.
  8. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    Okay why are people allowed to have religious avatars but not atheistic avatars? That is descrimination doesnt matter is some one is offended. If I was offended by a "jesus is the only way" . Would you delete that too? it would be totally unfair to let people decide who's avatars gets deleted and whos dont based of there views. freedom!
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    The over riding mission of SF is to provide support and safety to effect a pro-life forum...it is with great difficulty that l delete many of the sentences/posts l do, but l have intrepreted my 'responsiblity' as one of guardianship...l am a very liberal person, who believes that if a person is acting moral and with honor/intergrity, s/he is free to roam around the cabin, so to speak...that being said, my actions are never capricious, and are always erred on the side of safety...and no, there is NOT complete freedom here...there are guidelines...but they are there for a very well thought out reason...l am sorry you felt poorly cared for, which was never the intent, and l am glad you have expressed your feelings here...and BTW...l am an hysteric, so l am light years away from anal (lol)...thanks again for expressing how you feel and for allowing us to find a respectful way to repair this situation...big hugs
  10. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I might be testing boundaries soon with an avatar I have planned. :)
  11. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hmm.... can't wait to see this... lol

    (Just kidding I'm sure whatever it is won't be inapropriate... :) )


  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Meh I don't really care, I have been sensored for much stupider things. You get used to the discrimination. Actually one time I had a friend who wanted the nickname "The Hebrew Hammer" And he was turned down because "Hebrew" was in it. It was forcefully changed to "The Hammer" He was pissed.

    Or the time a small bit from a Skit I made was removed since there were the possiblity of political and religious sterotypes in them. God I hate it but you just have to get used to it when you have no power.
  13. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    I do have a similar situation with some of my posts. I do believe that we lost touch of how an action is offensive or not. There is a malice before thoughts. One person can whine about another & we cast the stone on the poster is not seem fair. The mods should at least ask the opinion of the members & go through the due process. Not a one person complaint would carry out the verdict. We should be more educated than that .Never once I see here a prolife is canned ,it is mostly the freethinkers.

    Do you get the drift?
  14. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    Kind of old topic, to say the least, but... indeed, very true on the pro-lifer versus pro-choicer comment. I hate it, as well. -_-
  15. Offensive...offensive !!! ...over a religious avatar ? You've got to be joking. I distinctly remember reading a thread started by a member here who was discussing his desire to engage in corprophelia with a willing female.

    For those of you who don't know what corpophelia is, it is a sexual fetish that is based upon the love of excrement ie, SHIT !

    Oh golly, I hope I didn't offend anyone :dry: with that slang term !!!

    Did I find that fetish offensive ? YES !!!
    Did I say anything about it ? NO....I just sucked it up and went on, it's really not that hard if you try.

    PS, how the in the f**king world did that particular topic make it through the "protect us from offensiveness" commandos :bottom: here at the Suicide Forum ?

    There was also a video posted regarding animal cruelty :cat: practices that was extremely graphic. You mean to tell me that even THAT bloody carnage failed to arouse the protective instincts of our paternalistic moderators ?

    The guidelines used by our moderators to arbitrarily determine what is offensive and what is not offensive seem to be based more upon political correctness and personal preference than upon the actual merits of the material in question.

    ps, I hope that my post didn't offend anyone...:blue:
  16. ybt

    ybt Guest

    certain things do have to be removed because of offense, but the original poster of the thread's avatar doesn't sound that bad, so they of course shouldn't have changed it
  17. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    If the avatar triggered someone every time they saw your avatar then wouldnt you want to remove it out of politeness?

    I dont tend to agree with censorship but the thread starter himself/herself said if it had offended someone then they were sorry.

    It would of been nicer to PM the person and ask them to remove it themselves, but slower.

    The moderators and administrators just do what they can to make everyone feel as comfortable to post as possible, this is just another example of that.

    There are no set rules against religious debates or beliefs, just a general motto of thinking of others and trying not to trigger each other.

    Its a community..

    My 2c.
  18. I am being completely honest when I say that I am truly offended by in the past being referred to as "hun" by a few specific moderators and no, I am not kidding. I am being as serious as I can be.

    I find the term to be extremely superficial and overly-familiar. On this forum I am no one's... "hun". :furious:

    In spite of my genuine distaste at the repeated use of this overly familiar term by certain moderators I fully expect it's use to continue unabated.

    And really, all material offensive to other members is deleted based upon the complaint of fellow members ?

    I seriouly doubt it. :rolleyes:
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2007
  19. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    Disagree again prozac, I hate a nickname I was given, a common nickname but it triggered me cos of the past, the people who repeatedly used it I asked not to and they stopped.

    If something is upsetting to you you should speak out, if it can be avoided it will be.

    There was someone in chat the other day who got very angry if you repeatedly used the hugs emoticon, and everyone agreed not to use hugs as much when they were in the room.

    While we like to use hugs, we dont need to overuse them, minimising the upset or anger it causes others.

    There is usually a compromise, if its to save someone else from distress most people here care enough to make sacrafices.

    And not all offensive material is deleted because of complaint of other members, this is a triggering website everyone knows that, but anything that unneccessarily causes distress is.

    That is why no one is allowed 'count down to suicide''s in their signature, or to post suicide notes, or to talk about sexual matters in chat.

  20. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Can someone please tell me what the avatar depicted? Was it the one that's a twirling pentagram? I think that one is pretty cool actually, and I'm a Christian, so I can't imagine what kind of avatar would be sooo offensive that it would have to be deleted. Just because one person is offended is no reason to remove it, IMO. Maybe that person could have gone to the source and asked politely for them to change it if it bothered them so much. BTW, I am offended by kittens, bunnies and rainbows, so please refrain from using them as avatars or I'm gonna tell.
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