I am really not sure anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beji, Jul 2, 2011.

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  1. Beji

    Beji New Member

    Well, I don't really know what to say here. I have actually never had these thoughts before until about a month ago and it's starting to get really hard to deal with.

    I am a 26 year old male, a graduate of High School only. I never liked the idea of school and to be honest my family was always too poor to think about sending me to school, but made too much money to actually be able to benefit from government aid. It's kind of funny how that works huh?

    So right after school I started working. I moved around the country a little bit and was always uncertain but I never felt like I needed to end it all, never.

    The beginning of this year I broke up with someone I had been dating for almost two years. She was treating me like crap and I was tired of the physical and verbal abuse. Would it surprise you that a man could be abused like that? a lot of people seem to think men simply can't be in a abusive relationship. Even though I was glad to be out of such a destructive relationship I missed her, I was going to purpose to her last year before it got really bad.

    Shortly after I broke off my relationship I was terminated from WalMart, a supervisor went over the line and I filed a complaint against her, in turn the next time I saw her, she asked me to a job in 8 hours that should have taken 20. When I didn't complete the job to her standard she fired me for misconduct, which if you know, falls under stuff like fighting with employees and stuff.

    You may be curious as to how I knew the job should have taken 20 hours. After I was terminated the same manager turned around the next day and assigned TWO more people to the job and gave them 5 hours a day for the next 4 days to do the job. I know this because I knew one of the people involved and they told me this.

    I was panicking after I lost my job, but I was able to quickly find another job through ManPower (it's a temp job company) and was quickly employed though a local manufacturing company. For 5 months I worked for them, showed up on time, worked all the overtime I could. They promised me they'd hire me on, promised raises all of it. Then they suddenly changed their mind, told me they weren't going to hire me for a job unless they REALLY needed to fill it. Instead they brought more ManPower people in.

    I asked ManPower to find me another job and they did. In a week I was working for another manufacturing company. Within 4 days I lost my job. I was at home for less then an hour when I got a call from ManPower. They informed me my job was no longer available at the company. Apparently someone told the management I told them that I drank on the job, was lazy and wanted to get revenge on a previous manager.

    I worked there for 4 days and haven't talked to anyone yet.. And why would I say THOSE things anyways if I wanted to be hired on? ManPower couldn't help me; it was the companies choice, not theirs. They never even talked to me about it or let me defend myself, they just got rid of me.

    Because of the circumstances of why I was let go from my last job now my unemployment is coming into question. I have applied at almost every single job I could think of in my town. For the past month now I have been unemployed, alone and broke and it just keeps getting worse. I have no one or anything right now and it just weighs a lot on my mind right now.

    Because of all the things I have been dealing with lately I can't sleep very well and when I do sleep I usually wake up having a panic attack or something. The lack of sleep is defiantly not helping my issues.

    I am at my wits end.

    It didn't start off all at once, but I have been thinking about it more and more lately. I've always been a hard worker, I never hurt anyone and if this is what I can expect from life then I Just don't really want to keep on going.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Can you not take that former employee to court for harassment hun go to employment relations board and tell them what happened She can be fined and have her job revoked You are not the bad one here she is and she will hurt others so if you can take her to court talk to labour board okay see what can be done. If you are having feelings of harming you hun go to hospital see if you can get some help okay or your doctor get on some meds to help you Labor board will get you back your job if you were wrongfully dismissed and being harassed hugs
     
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    its a hard situation. keep trying and something will come along.
     
  4. Beji

    Beji New Member

    And if it doesn't?
     
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