As much as I know I wont do it the urge has become rather strong tonight. I want to end myself peacefully. There is no reason for me to think this. I have so much to live for, but it all kind of doesnt do anything for me. I wish someone would respond to this soon, but it is like 3am. I am also restless. Existence is so strung-out. I feel old and I'm in my twenties. I feel like I've been around as long as Moses was, poor Moses. At least he had a strong belief in his Heaven I guess. This is a stupid existence. I dont want to be here. Someone hit me with a car... or a truck... or just drop a piano on me and squash me dead.