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I am scared, I think he killed himself

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#1
I was ranting about this guy the last time I was here, and He send me texts yesterday, saying he was going to kill himself, because I broke his heart, and I sacerd he might have done it, because he wont answer his phone, or my texts, He never gave me his adress so I cant go and check on him, I am freking out, I dont know what else to do, I dont know any of his friends, I never got to know him that well and now this, I really need help, and I dont know what to do
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#3
I was ranting about this guy the last time I was here, and He send me texts yesterday, saying he was going to kill himself, because I broke his heart, and I sacerd he might have done it, because he wont answer his phone, or my texts, He never gave me his adress so I cant go and check on him, I am freking out, I dont know what else to do, I dont know any of his friends, I never got to know him that well and now this, I really need help, and I dont know what to do
How did you meet? Also, you should never cater to someone like that. I seriously doubt he killed himself, and if he did he was going to do it way before he met you. For him to use you as an excuse is inexcusable and cruel. Know that you cannot determine anyone else’s happiness. Maybe superficially, but not long term. Misery lives in a persons mind, it has to heal internally for the person to be free.
 
#5
ah ok, that is difficult then, sorry *sadhug
I guess all you can do is wait for him to reply, if he's in a dark place he won't necessarily feel like talking straight away anyway

it's not your fault though, you can't force yourself to like someone if you just don't feel it and he shouldn't actually tell you that that's made him feel that bad because it isn't your fault and it could come across as guilt-tripping on his part which you don't deserve
 
#6
How did you meet? Also, you should never cater to someone like that. I seriously doubt he killed himself, and if he did he was going to do it way before he met you. For him to use you as an excuse is inexcusable and cruel. Know that you cannot determine anyone else’s happiness. Maybe superficially, but not long term. Misery lives in a persons mind, it has to heal internally for the person to be free.
on Tinder, he seemed nice and we talked for a while I met himin person 3 times, in two weeks, and we had a rocky relationship for those 2 weeks, and then I decided to end it, because I couldnt handle it anymore, that is when he started to talk about suicide
 
#7
ah ok, that is difficult then, sorry *sadhug
I guess all you can do is wait for him to reply, if he's in a dark place he won't necessarily feel like talking straight away anyway

it's not your fault though, you can't force yourself to like someone if you just don't feel it and he shouldn't actually tell you that that's made him feel that bad because it isn't your fault and it could come across as guilt-tripping on his part which you don't deserve
but I am actully worrid he might have hurt himself I found a guy who knows him and told him about, because he sent me a picture of a (idk the name in english) the thing where <mod edit - methods>
 
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Aurelia

Over a low sun, undo the undone.
#8
on Tinder, he seemed nice and we talked for a while I met himin person 3 times, in two weeks, and we had a rocky relationship for those 2 weeks, and then I decided to end it, because I couldnt handle it anymore, that is when he started to talk about suicide
Yeah, I seriously doubt it. He's probably doing it to manipulate you in some way. But even if he did do it, there had to have been other reasons besides you. You were probably low on that list, despite what he may have said.
 

Aurelia

Over a low sun, undo the undone.
#9
but I am actully worrid he might have hurt himself I found a guy who knows him and told him about, because he sent me a picture of a (idk the name in english) the thing where <mod edit - methods>,
That doesn't even make sense. What reason is there to do both? Now I'm even more convinced that he was manipulating you. Plus, don't you think if he <method> himself, and you'd been one of the last to talk to him, that you wouldn't be getting questioned by the cops by now?
 
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#10
maybe he's really insecure and taking your rejection personally, like maybe he can't think of it logically, and can only think of it as 'oh no I must be ugly/terrible/annoying/not good enough' if they don't want me, rather than being able to think logically that no it doesn't necessarily mean that, it's just not everyone is going to have feelings for you/like you and it's not a personal attack against you. - my point there being, perhaps try to reassure him to soften the blow? like say to him that he's a nice person etc, list some good qualities about him, and that its not personal, you just don't feel it but you don't intend any harm? it might help him calm down a bit and feel a bit better

I get that it's hard though. If someone's suicidal it's hard to talk sense into them because they're so blinded by hopelessness and pain etc, it isn't your fault though, as others have said, more than likely he already had problems and this just triggered him a bit extra- you wouldn't be the main cause of his suicidal feelings
 
#11
That doesn't even make sense. What reason is there to do both? Now I'm even more convinced that he was manipulating you. Plus, don't you think if he <method> himself, and you'd been one of the last to talk to him, that you wouldn't be getting questioned by the cops by now?
I dont know, he didnt seem like he wanted me to say that I love him, just more of a goodbye
 
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#13
I'm about 98% sure that this was manipulation. People who send pictures like that to make other people feel guilty don't typically kill themselves.
I really hope you are right, I am talking to this guy, i think he is his friend, I asked him to go check on him, so if he does go see him, I will know soon
 
#16
He doesnt answer his phone, his boss tryed calling and he didnt either, I asked him to go there, if he could aand he said ok, I am really scared, what do I do if he is dead? I am truly freaking out
that's good his boss can go check on him. He could just be feeling really down and not being in the mood to answer his phone, or if he is manipulating you, ignoring you on purpose to make you worry for no reason.

I know it's hard not to worry but try not to visualize the "what ifs" and stay in the present
maybe you'll have to wait a few days for him to feel like talking to you
 
#17
that's good his boss can go check on him. He could just be feeling really down and not being in the mood to answer his phone, or if he is manipulating you, ignoring you on purpose to make you worry for no reason.

I know it's hard not to worry but try not to visualize the "what ifs" and stay in the present
maybe you'll have to wait a few days for him to feel like talking to you
He didn´t, his boss went over and he was "high" from the pills but alive, he said that he thinks that he will be alright, god I feel releaved, but still startled. Thnaks everyone for the support
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#18
He didn´t, his boss went over and he was "high" from the pills but alive, he said that he thinks that he will be alright, god I feel releaved, but still startled. Thnaks everyone for the support
Wow, @Palomahasdied that is an emotional rollercoaster he put you through and you've only just met him?! I hope you will stay away from him for your own wellbeing.
 
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