It really bothers me that I have these urges to commit suicide. I am schizoaffective/ocd which is a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar mixed together. I am mostly bipolar. I believe that it is my chronic depression that causes me to want to harm myself. I am wondering if anyone here knows what I am talking about. I do love life and I can't face hurting the people who love me. I wish I could put into words what this shit does to people. Its like you're struggling just to feel better.