...??i am scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 41021, Apr 5, 2010.

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  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    i am so scared
    and i do not feel okay.
    and i know this is a bad idea.
    connecting with ppl is not helpful at all.
    it just prolongs the pain.
  2. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    hope you're okay

    tell us, what's making you scared?
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    the fear is confusing me

    i have no reason to be so afraid

    it's bordering on panic-fear
    that gut fight or flight

    stepping into the unknown?
  4. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    the unknown? whats the unknown?
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    stepping out into the great unknown?
    it is so easy yet scary too
  6. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    the only thing that could help, i imagine, is religion here. believing in heaven or a life of no pain after death. but i would think that despite the scariness, if all of our being really didnt want to live, we already wouldnt be alive. if that makes any sense, which it probly doesnt.
    *hugs* we care about you and dont want you to have to step into that great unknown.
  7. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Well I'm worried about you Kali AND Cuttle25.....you BOTH are not doing well.
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i get that about if all our being really didn't want to live
    and my body feels like that
    i can barely keep water down
    i can barely move
    i feel like my body is dying
    i think i could easily die just by not doing anything
    i think if i don't take me out at my own hand, my body will do it for me.

    but it seems so wrong to prolong it
    when it's so simple to just jump

    you know, i never wanted anyone to take that step either
    but i have tried and tried put forth my best effort into reengaging
    and it's not working and i feel even worse each time i fail...i just sink further and further.


    i am so sorry

    but freaking echo man, i told you this is a bad idea damnit i cannot do this.
  9. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Have you eaten anything in the last few days Kali?

    Bad idea because?
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    can't keep anything down atm
    dehydrated trying to sip water

    bad idea; because it's easier if i just break all connections to ppl, it's harder when i connect to ppl
    that is what i need to do, isolate myself.

    i don't feel okay
  11. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Quite honestly, you talk completely like you are NOT okay.....your words are fragmented at times Kali....when compare it to other posts I've convered with you, some of these today almost sound beyond reality.

    Would you give yourself a moment please...just breath until you are breathing normal....and try to get hydrated. Dehydration can lead to coma and psychosis.

    You don't have to engage with everyone but at least keep us in the loop.....we're not asking you to book yourself to the hospital or psych ward but we just want to know what is going on with you......doesn't that seem doable for the moment?
  12. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    I don't feel so good anymore
  13. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Kali, are you getting any water down?
  14. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    a bit
    trying to sip
    hold it in my mouth
    can't keep much down
  15. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    kali :sad:

    how long has it been ago the last time you have something to eat ?
  16. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Just a little medical advice..if you have a sea salt or grey salt...and put a pinch on your tongue, to keep the stomach from regurgitating.

    Worst case, jut dab water on your tongue and drink droplets.....just want to get you hydrated if anythng right now....

    ** consider yourself hugged at the moment ** wish sometimes we could be there physically...........
  17. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    and no meds in this condition kali, they will not do any good if you are hydrated. your bodyfluid is priority. please keep trying to drink a litle bit.. have you considered calling a doctor ?
  18. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    i have sea salt

    appetites been poor past four months
    recently not too good

    before i would get hungry, make food, then couldn't eat it
    now i am not even hungry :sad:

    i don't care if i eat or drink it doesn't matter :no:

    i don't feel okay
    i cannot do this
    i wanna go
    i am tired
    and i don't feel so good
    i don't want to see anymore
    i do not want to breathe anymore
    i do not want my heart to continue to beat
    i want to just go...
    i don't feel so good
  19. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    don't want a doctor
  20. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member


    kali pls hang in there
    you have us all worried, keep trying to drink litle bits and keep telling us how you are doing
    dont give up kali you matter to us
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