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I am scum!

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J
#1
I'm a person! I have feelings too! I'm not just some robot that you can push around and treat like gum on the bottom of your shoe! or like it's such a hassle to deal with me. I'm trying okay!?!??

It's amazing how harsh, how cold, how RUDE people can be. ARGGGHHH. way to make me feel worse then I already do... I'm there serving you! I'm feeling like hell already.. but still make myself come. smile, be happy for you god damn people... and you treat me like dirt.

THANKS!
 
#2
Jess hun, what is going on? If you need someone to talk to , I am around. I don't think people would intentionally try to hurt you hun. You definitely are not scum or dirt. You are a valuable person. Take care hun. Don't let it get you down. :hug:
 
#3
...at work, you mean? :(
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Some people are just plain awful, there is nothing anyone can do, I don't think :(
Just...know that people do know you're not scum, and try to take comfort in that :hug:
We know you're wonderful :)
 
J
#6
Thanks guys.

I just had an insanely rough day yesterday. Work with a nice headache. People really are so rude. Ahhg. Well you guys know how I haven't quite been doing too well lately, yes? well I still go to work, trying to keep a smile on to be polite and what not.. and people just walk all over me. The people I work with.. and the customers. I know I'm the youngest there, and the newest.. but does that give them the right to treat me like dirt? Okay, I've heard of the whole initiation things.. but I've been there for almost three weeks.. I do the most work out of any of the reg girls. I'm trying!!!!! :sad: Oh, and I ask for a day off so I can make it to my softball try outs.. and what do I get hit with? a 22 hour weekend. I can't do this...... but I have to.
 

sudut

Well-Known Member
#9
Jess said:
I'm a person! I have feelings too! I'm not just some robot that you can push around and treat like gum on the bottom of your shoe! or like it's such a hassle to deal with me. I'm trying okay!?!??

It's amazing how harsh, how cold, how RUDE people can be. ARGGGHHH. way to make me feel worse then I already do... I'm there serving you! I'm feeling like hell already.. but still make myself come. smile, be happy for you god damn people... and you treat me like dirt.

THANKS!
Jess,
do you know what Jesus says about people like you in the sermon on the mountain? you are very blessed. you should be exceedingly happy that people are spitefully using you like this, great is your reward. he also said "no good ever goes unrewarded". Bible also says "Never grow weary in doing good". God sees everything you do, he knows that its in your best interest to want to 'get even'. but he says not to do it anyway (i know it doesn't make any sense).
will you pass the test?
 

sudut

Well-Known Member
#12
thanks for messaging your quick reply Jess. o.k, so you want solutions in the real world then, without the religious stuff... though i don't ever remember mentioning i was religious. when i say Jesus or budha, i am interested in their ways of viewing life, like like socrates and plato had their own ways, these guys are also geniuses in my eyes. anybody who can give me the formula for not worrying in this life is a genius.
you play Jesse and will i take the role play of the 'crappy customers' that showed you attitude out of nowhere, as if you deserved any of it. its a little tough though, which is why i hate this side of reality. I strive to live in another reality. please Jesse this is a game, i got lots of time on my hands and so don't be angry at me. behind your question lies one of the toughest realities we have to deal with every day, all of us, why, and since we can't figure out the answers, we ask anyways since we think the answers lie somwhere.

Jess said:
I'm a person! I have feelings too! I'm not just some robot that you can push around and treat like gum on the bottom of your shoe!

sudut: how can you tell that i am trying to hurt your feelings. really? the answer is either, maybe, maybe not. don't just assume the first.maybe thats the way i act, maybe i could be a mental dissability. can you really be mad at a car that won't start. i challenge you to volunteer in a mental health hospital if you think people are rude to you. can you be angry at the patients?

Jess:...or like it's such a hassle to deal with me. I'm trying okay!?!??
sudut: most of the time, we can't read how someone is feeling. ask your mum how many times you pissed her off without you realizing that you were.

Jess: my question to you first:
It's amazing how harsh, how cold, how RUDE people can be. ARGGGHHH.

sudut(my answer)-- This seems to be 'their' problem as is the example of the car that won't stop that i previously illustrated. 'they' clearly have an 'attitude problem'. if you are not going to help them overcome it(i.e by setting a good example since you know better that they need this attitude fix), atleast don't curse the darkeness by further condemning them. my math teacher never was angry at us coz we couldn't get the tables. she instead knew we were fools who needed her help. she didn't get mad at idiots because coz they were idiots and ask us why we could figure out something as easy as 7*7. the higher you are in the hirrarchy), the more you understand that half of this world is made up of fools. don't take it personally.
thats why people started calling racists 'ignorant', and not 'bad'.

also, you don't know what has happened/is happening to them (cause) happening to them thats making them behave that way to you(effect). whoever breaks this chain is higher in rank than the other. break this chain. don't let 'cause' affect your thoughts / decisions. that's not your area of expertise as a human, thats the specialization of animals.
yesterday, I was got very angry at a waitress who demanded that i let her keep my credit card until i was ready to pay the tab(in short, when i'm leaving. she wanted to hold on to my credit card for about an hour. away from my sight!- talk about balls. for a second i thought i was in naigeria). i asked her why she would even think that i was willing to trust her with my 'platinum' card, when she wasn't willing to trust me for a few bucks worth of beers that i said i'd pay! isn't the customer always right?
in my opinion I 'percieved' (how harsh, how cold, how RUDE the waitresses could be. + she can't even trust me! ARGGGHHH!!). shortly, Tears started forming on her eyes when she started telling me about a huge bill she was forced to pay, just hours ago, for some customers who had apparently tricked her with the same 'we'll get the tab when we leave' line. Needless to say, i gave her my card right away and apologized. ARGGGHHH!


q) way to make me feel worse then I already do...

answer-- they can't read your feelings or your mind. i doubt even 'cleo' can tell your mood by just looking at my face, much less that of a beautiful waitress dressed in a mini. (by the way i'm guessing you are a waitress and 10 out of 10 times i'm usually right).

Jess, just like the way you couldn't read into their minds as they were probably saying to themselves at the same time 'she probably feels so good coz she's so pretty and on top of that we get to pay her tips for the privillage of being Jess (just serving us food that she didn't even have to make). what a brat... let's do humanity some good and give her some hard time today atleast one day' - only that they picked the wrong day as Jess was already feeling bad.

q)...I'm there serving you!
crappy customer's thought: -- i'm here spending my hard earned money at this restaurant and she doesn't even seem happy to serve us.

jess: I'm feeling like hell already..but still make myself come. smile, be happy for you god damn people...
crappy customers: She's seems cold at us. aren't waitresses "always" supposed to be happy, joyfully smilling and rushing to serve us. at us (regardless of what Jess had to go through that day, as you already mentioned you were 'already' feeling worse.

q) ...and you treat me like dirt.

crappy customers: this waitress. she can't even get our jokes (OR maybe their hockey team just lost and they are just pissed off -period, not necessarily at you Jessy OR they are just a bunch of neanderthals who ain't used to being extremely polite/patient, a quality that only a select few waitresses have had the chance to learn free of charge due to the nature of their daily job. infact, somedays nobody ever smiles at me but a waitress. i used to think i was funny b4 coz i made all waitress laugh until a friend of mine, also a waitress, informed me that they were only being polite. whew!)
THANKS!
I have personally discovered, a much more simpler alternative from having to wrestle with all that psycological bull above. I just think that everything is a test! i think i must have a higher purpose thats being crafted from all this day to day irritating senseless bullshit we have to go through(like this random people decided to come in your restaurant at the exact day that you were already pissed off, and they specifically pick on that day to irritate you further...). i can't dismiss this shit as coincidence. budha and Jesus sayings make much more sense to me than religion or logic ever would. its like straight answers to an exam without thinking. phrases like "the kingdom of heaven", to me translate to "a state of mind where there is no worry and you". even though it could represent a physical entity.

after years of not being able to figure out why all this happens, from huge, natioanal divastating events like the september 11th to trivial personal issues like facing dissaproval from a friend. all i could do was hurl insults at God for why he ever made me and what he was thinking in the first place. why me. Why didn't you just make a star instead of me. i know you love me but why did you decide to love me. i wish i didn't exist - period. either here or in the pleasurable heaven, or hell. i wanted nothing to do with all of this cosmic reality called creation (i hope when i die God will understand i was drunk then). . then the answer, summarised in this phrase once dawned on me
"we only get pissed of at life because we don't know why we are really here. it can't be just for pleasure, otherwise we'd be born in a pleasurable plane".
its taken me a great journey from hurling straight questions and insults and blasphemies at the author of my life for ever creating me and placing me here (please don't think i'm religious or trying to preach to you, i just feel like writing today and ideas are flowing on my mind, you don't have to read.), to just figure out that i had been selfish. all i wanted was my dreams (self actualization in other words idolatry) and not my purpose (meaning).
jess i've learned alot from talking to you. bye.
 
J
#13
I'm not sure I'm understanding you.. sorry, thanks for trying though..

This really wasn't a post looking for too many responses. Just venting about things bothering me. Sorry if you took it for something else.. but that's why I put it in the Let It Out section... it's nothing important...

Well.. I must get going and go to bed so I can get up wayto early for a way to long day of work. Oh yes, and to add to the stress of tomorrow.. I just had a pretty bad fight with my dad. My friends mom went through her stuff and found some.. stuff (I'll leave it at that) and assumed that since we're friends we do this stuff together... and called my dad, WHILE HE WAS AT WORK and told him Im doing all this stuff.. which ISNT TRUE AND SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO GO AND TELL HIM THAT< WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS. so he came home today on his lunch break.. we "discussed it" then.. and tonight at fucking 11pm he wants to discuss it again.. I told him I didn't want to talk tonight because I'm tired and stressed already.. but still he wants to talk!!!

It's all because I can't stare someone in the face when we talk. I'm sorry that I'm shy and I just can't look you in the face.. that's just WHO I AM. I do it with everyone.. it's nothing new.. and if you KNEW ME then you'd KNOW that's how I am....

God.. am I getting this distant from people? not even my own family knows me?
 

rachypooh

Well-Known Member
#15
I hope work has gotten better for you, I know how tough it can get, but sometimes we just dont have a choice where we work, its a pain really.
 
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