I am seriously considering suicide.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by loaded, Sep 3, 2008.

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  1. loaded

    loaded Member

    2005 was the best year of my life. Amazing up til end of 2007. I honestly feel like I dies then. I was happy, popular, had a beautiful girlfriend who Loved me and I loved with all my heart, my drumming was going great, my Metal band offered a deal to which we recorded an album and toured. (My dream as a Musician. I had also earnt alot of money through my part time Labouring job when not touring. Everything was Amazing. What has happened. My band did the right thing and quit although I feel we left our Mark. Me and my girlfriend split as wanted different thigns from life and remainded friends. Apparently she will always love me, (Yea right). No band, no job my contract finished and now the country has gone into a resession. I have develpoed anxiety problem.s I don't have confidence tot alk to anyone. All my friends have dissapeared. i feel like thta have 1% of the friends I used to. I can't find a band I want to join. Even when playing music which i lived for. I am not happy with music. I recently found out my ex who i know il never stop loving is pregnant with her new bf and they plan on getting married. I have no money. I moved back with my parents from our Flat when we broke up. I spend my life unhappy no matter what i do. I drink to get to sleep and know I am borderline Alcoholic. I don't have the confidence to go out gig and Socaialise on a Friday night anymore. Not that anyone invites me out. Ashame I used to be doing something every night. I sit at home all day drinking myself to sleep smoking my fags eating takeaways. Dying extremly slowly. I feel that it's about time to end this sorry excuse for a life. Maybe feeling nothing is better than feeling pain and sadness.
     
  2. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    You're what 20? 20 something year old? Or maybe i'm wrong, who knows. However, it's rather curious that you haven't heard this before: life has it's ups and downs, you save whilst you can and prepare yourself for the worst. I myself got myself burnt in a rather similar way, now i have alot to catch up to, but i'm not worried, in the end the universe tends to unfold quite nicely.

    Or if you prefer it in a quote (one of my favourites too), George Bernard Shaw once said "Life is not meant to be easy, my child. But take courage: it can be delightful". So i guess, stick with it, join AA, get yourself fixed up and find something to do again, it'll all work out for the best, i'm sure of it:)
     
  3. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    god I am so jealous of peoples problems, but yea I guess everyone is different
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello,
    You obviously have a talent! Why don't you expand that a little and tune yourself into your music. Music is suppose to sooth the savage beast! SA and depression are the beast.
    Don't try so hard to have a relationship. Take your time and let life unfold in front of you!! You will find another other half!! Life is a bitch, but there also is some good times!!
    We here at the forum are there to help you!! Are you in therapy? if not then you should give it a try. Therapists are very good at what they do!! Kind of feel them out because there are bad apples who are all about the money.
    Keep getting out and sociallising. Your passion is music and if you isolate yourself You could be missing out on success!! Do you still talk with your old band members? Maybe the ones who are still staying positive and you can try to build another band. Well take care!! Stay Safe!!:chopper:!!
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Don't let your gift of music go to waste. Have you ever gone to kareoke bars to sing? It might be a nice way for you to get back into the music scene. I love music. I'm a musician of sorts as well. Not in a rock band or anything. I specialize in indian music mostly. Your life is far from over yet. :hug:
     
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You still have a future. Sure, things have gone down hill for you but things can go up hill again for you also.
     
  7. loaded

    loaded Member

    ell I almost did it last night. I was planning on it but my sister turned up. She was completely clueless as to what I was thinking of doing but it stopped me. I wne tto bed after drinking 2 bottles of wine and god knows how much jJD and just woken up. Right now all i can think about is having a drink. maybe that will give me the courage to do it. Cheers for the support on here guys nice to know others out there who feel the same but no matter which way i look at it, I stil feel that suicide maybe the option.
     
  8. Samantha

    Samantha Well-Known Member

    Alcohol is a drug and is implicated in many successful suicides,
    Its really hard to quit but not impossible medical insurance companies know this as they have to number to repeat admissions to psy hospital for detox capped.

    The Best Place is The Priory, Al Anon 12 Steps is free.

    Samantha
     
  9. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    At least you had a life once...some peoples are ruined for them before they even grow up...:(
     
  10. lowryd3r

    lowryd3r New Member

    car, hose, gaffa tape....thats what im gonna do...
     
  11. loaded

    loaded Member

    I know that many, many people are in a far, far worse situation than me but It doe'snt change how i feel. If anything I am envyous of the people that have been through more and have stayed strong because i can't even do that in my situation anymore.
     
  12. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Look. I understand the feelings you have right now but depression is a funny thing. It doesn't always hang around forever. I know what it's like to lose that one special girl. It happens to every guy who ever really, truly loves a girl and then loses her in spite of doing everything he could to keep her. It's rough.

    But don't kill yourself over it. It's not worth it and it gets easier to live with it. You'll always remember her but it won't be as hard. Just cherish the memories that you have and try to move on.

    Friends are not the most important thing in the world. The most important friend you could ever have is yourself. It's true. It sounds stupid but you're the only person you really need. Friends are not all they're cracked up to be. Don't put all your stock and faith in them. Friends come and go. They don't know how much value you place on them. They can't know you miss them so much you want to die.

    Friends are a dime a a dozen. OK, really, really good friends are rare. But casual friends are easy to find. Just don't expect so much out of relationships. If someone wants to hang out, great. Just go with it. But don't depend on them because people will let you down. People have their own things going on. They're probably not trying to hurt you. Sometimes people just need to move on and they just kind of drift away.

    Losing your source of income can be tough but it doesn't have to be the end of the world. The economy isn't great right now but there are always ways to survive. Even if you have to take a lower paying job, you could get a room mate. Or even a couple of room mates so you could split all the bills. And you know, they might even be cool people to get to know.
     
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