2005 was the best year of my life. Amazing up til end of 2007. I honestly feel like I dies then. I was happy, popular, had a beautiful girlfriend who Loved me and I loved with all my heart, my drumming was going great, my Metal band offered a deal to which we recorded an album and toured. (My dream as a Musician. I had also earnt alot of money through my part time Labouring job when not touring. Everything was Amazing. What has happened. My band did the right thing and quit although I feel we left our Mark. Me and my girlfriend split as wanted different thigns from life and remainded friends. Apparently she will always love me, (Yea right). No band, no job my contract finished and now the country has gone into a resession. I have develpoed anxiety problem.s I don't have confidence tot alk to anyone. All my friends have dissapeared. i feel like thta have 1% of the friends I used to. I can't find a band I want to join. Even when playing music which i lived for. I am not happy with music. I recently found out my ex who i know il never stop loving is pregnant with her new bf and they plan on getting married. I have no money. I moved back with my parents from our Flat when we broke up. I spend my life unhappy no matter what i do. I drink to get to sleep and know I am borderline Alcoholic. I don't have the confidence to go out gig and Socaialise on a Friday night anymore. Not that anyone invites me out. Ashame I used to be doing something every night. I sit at home all day drinking myself to sleep smoking my fags eating takeaways. Dying extremly slowly. I feel that it's about time to end this sorry excuse for a life. Maybe feeling nothing is better than feeling pain and sadness.