Well, I wrote the first thing that came to mind in my opening statement, and this is the way that I have been feeling for some time now. Every day I become more and more depressed and I am exhausted all the time. I am sick of living with failure, everything I do ending up going nowhere. Every night I go to bed and hope I do not wake up. I am in my mid-forties and I look back at my life and see nothing. The only reason I do not kill myself is because I do not know what will happen next. I am not a religious person, but if there really is a hell then I do not want to fry for eternity, which would actually be worse than the way things are now, which is hard to imagine. Everything sucks. I am an actor that has gotten nowhere. I am currently in a show in Las Vegas and I do not even care. My agents must think that I am a virus because I never hear from them. I have had eleven books published, and despite all of my marketing efforts my sales are a joke. As of this month I have given up writing because I am tired of setting myself up for more disappointment. I do not even bother with women because I am an absolute loser. Most of the people I know have something to live for, thriving careers that are taking them higher and higher while I watch and feel even worse because everything I have tried to do has gone nowhere. I am also depressed because of the world around me. The stock market is tanking, the government is once again threatening to get rid of social security, and we are currently faced with the worst election in history because both candidates are clowns and the world is just falling apart, all of this while I am becoming older and more obsolete. None of the things I do bring me joy anymore. I want to die and just end all of it. What's the point? Life is just a series of failures no matter what I do and I would rather just die than letting it keep getting worse. I keep hoping that I will get <mod edit - methods>or I don't care as long as it ends and I don't have to keep waking up to the pain of another day. God, if you do exist and truly care about us and what we are feeling, then please kill me now. Let me go to sleep tonight and never wake up.