My days consist now of staring at a computer screen wishing I was dead.....I feel guilty and scared for wanting to die...I am stuck inside a mind and body I can not escape.....I go back and forth all day going through my methods as I become weaker and weaker. I can't stand pain..I'm terrified of heights...I can't go on like this. life is a hell and a burden to me. I hate every second and every minute. I feel awful as I put my body through hell. I can't get help nothing works Im so desperate its pathetic. people hate me because I refuse to do anything positive. I hate me because I am still alive and suffering every second hating myself and wishing I was dead.