I've had a mental breakdown just now and I'm having that period where everyone I look at is just susceptible as any to be canned from my friend circle. I did just that and it does feel a little lonely now... I removed a bunch of people who I was so fed up with just sitting in silence. No talks to me. Nothing but dead air with me for a friendship. I appreciate what they've done in the past, but what's in the past - is in the past. It means dick for the present unless we were still continuing our positive chemistry. But it appears that has ran rather empty so I've had to tolerate with this frivolous idea of hope that someday, one day, I will and would hear from one of these friends. But I don't. So, fine, you want me to go to this level? Very well, I relieved them from my friend circle. Maybe this is what they indirectly want, to be relieved from tolerating my existence. Fine, they can have it! Thanks for wasting my fucking time! All this time I'm never getting back and neither are you! I hope it was worth it all in the end! I am always willing to put my neck out for the friends I get and the receiving end I get is thankless, practically. Words cannot express how deeply disappointed I am. I'm not getting proper comfort. I have a disease that COULD kill me if I let it. My job is cutting my hours down from working 2 days to 1, meaning I've got 6 fucking hours to work with at all. I'm getting mixed messages from certain people and the last thing I need is to keep looking at my FB, Skype, Steam .etc friend lists and go "Oh, there's you, you and you. You all don't ever fucking talk to me first and expect me to talk to you and initiate something with you that I'm about done trying!" It's obvious I am walking different paths than where everyone else is. I refuse to follows yours any longer because it's apparent that you're leading just me off to be lost. I don't know what you want me to do, you NEVER suggest to me what I could do to be a better friend. You just sit there and let time weigh on the longevity of the friendship. Sorry, doesn't work! Least of all, doesn't work for me! I am someone who you need to keep fresh with on a occasional basis. I can fly on my own, yes, but it gets boring after awhile! Especially when I realize now and then "Hm, I'd really love it if I had a couple friends around me" NEVER HAPPENS! I'm not living this down. If I see any of you fuckers crawl back to me, it's time to get real! It's time to stop sugarcoating words and playing the lingo/pronoun game. You want honesty? I'll gladly slap you with it! You've left our friendship to rot and die, that is unforgivable to me!