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I am so done

cots

Well-Known Member
#1
I am so done with whatever life has or is going to throw at me.

I am so done with being a failure, a loser and a wimpy meek person.

A lot of people say, "you have to stand your ground!", "Just show them what you got!", etc but how can I when I have nothing in me at all?

I keep hearing voices in my head calling me a loser, a good-for-nothing, an idiot!

I am so afraid of social situations now. I am so afraid of meeting people, and dread going out.

I don't even know what I'm saying. I just feel so done.

I wish I could disappear!!!
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#2
I feel the exact same thing sometimes, with an emphasis on imagining people giving their opinion on what I deserve and what I don't deserve. It's a remnant form when we were completely reliant on other's opinions to survive, when only the most pro-social could reproduce. Now? Now it's something that reduces the chances of you getting a job/ losing weight/ quitting drinking/ curbing a drug addiction/ maintaining relationships/ stopping impulse purchases/ sex addiction, or whatever else that some guy off of the street would want you to die of dehydration because you were too "lazy" or a "freeloader" to get right.
 

Dani24

Well-Known Member
#3
Sometimes it makes you angry - you want to scream into a pillow until you've lost your voice, break things and cry. Sometimes it makes you exhausted. You want to sit on your bed and forget the world exists.
Everything has been difficult lately and I am barely hanging on.
 

Mymindsmine

Well-Known Member
#4
I am so done with whatever life has or is going to throw at me.

I am so done with being a failure, a loser and a wimpy meek person.

A lot of people say, "you have to stand your ground!", "Just show them what you got!", etc but how can I when I have nothing in me at all?

I keep hearing voices in my head calling me a loser, a good-for-nothing, an idiot!

I am so afraid of social situations now. I am so afraid of meeting people, and dread going out.

I don't even know what I'm saying. I just feel so done.

I wish I could disappear!!!
I love your traits and I don’t wAnt you to disappear I would love you to share and show others there not alone x
 

cots

Well-Known Member
#6
Thanks for replying :( i just feel so down and done. I don't exactly want to die. It's more of a, I just want to stop existing, kinda feeling.

I am growing increasingly afraid of people. They all seem to want to sell me something or ask for a favour!!! They know I don't have it in me to say no. I am so sick of my personality. I have done self improvement programmes but still I remain meek. I just want to avoid everyone and everything.

I am afraid I might end up being a Hikkikomori. I watched a few documentaries on them and I feel I'm inching towards that lifestyle. I stopped buying clothes because I don't foresee myself going out anymore.

I am also constantly ashamed of myself. I feel like everyone is out to attack me. I think everyone is judging me.

Urgh!
 

Mymindsmine

Well-Known Member
#9
Thanks for replying :( i just feel so down and done. I don't exactly want to die. It's more of a, I just want to stop existing, kinda feeling.

I am growing increasingly afraid of people. They all seem to want to sell me something or ask for a favour!!! They know I don't have it in me to say no. I am so sick of my personality. I have done self improvement programmes but still I remain meek. I just want to avoid everyone and everything.

I am afraid I might end up being a Hikkikomori. I watched a few documentaries on them and I feel I'm inching towards that lifestyle. I stopped buying clothes because I don't foresee myself going out anymore.

I am also constantly ashamed of myself. I feel like everyone is out to attack me. I think everyone is judging me.

Urgh!
Cots . I am so behind you to start saying no thank you I’m busy takin time for me
 
#10
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment. A lot of what you are saying is relatable to me.

Although it may not feel like it now, you have value and worth and you are good enough as a person. Although trying to improve yourself is good, it is also important that we can accept ourselves the way we are. Sometimes when we're feeling especially down, we can beat ourselves up and tell ourselves things about ourselves that aren't true.

It sounds like you could be suffering with depression and social anxiety. The feeling of thinking people are constantly judging you is one that is very relatable to me, and symptomatic of social anxiety. Have you ever entered treatment for either issue?

I'm also sorry you feel like everyone wants something from you. Sometimes, life can feel overwhelming. You can find people out there who don't demand anything from you.

Stay safe. I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *brohug.
 

cots

Well-Known Member
#12
Thank you all.

@KindaOtiose yep I did try counseling and going to the psychologist. They did help but I stopped going because of the cost and I don't see it solving problems. They just made me cope a little better but I think I prefer solutions.

I know everyone has problems but somehow mine feel awfully overwhelming :( i think I don't have what it takes to live a life. I'm just not cut out for this.
 
#13
@KindaOtiose yep I did try counseling and going to the psychologist. They did help but I stopped going because of the cost and I don't see it solving problems. They just made me cope a little better but I think I prefer solutions.
I'm sorry it didn't help solve your problems. I wonder if there is a way for you to offset the cost. Do you have insurance that can cover the costs? Or is there a way you can get insurance that covers it?

I know everyone has problems but somehow mine feel awfully overwhelming :( i think I don't have what it takes to live a life. I'm just not cut out for this.
Everyone has problems, but that doesn't mean yours aren't important. I know it may feel like you are overwhelmed at the moment, but you won't feel like this forever.

I know you want solutions. A lot of people here have felt that way. Maybe a way to start finding solutions is to focus on one problem at a time. Break what you need to do into smaller tasks and focus on them one at a time. Maybe this can help you feel less overwhelmed.

We're glad you're here. Keep coming back. Sending hugs *brohug.
 

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