I Am So Done

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Silent Angel, Jan 20, 2010.

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  1. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    There's no point really. No one is going to care.

    I'm sick of just walking out of my room and getting yelled at by my crazy stepdad. I'm sick of getting called the worst daughter in the world and being told that I'm the cause of all troubles in the house. I'm sick of my dad yelling at me because I'm not a perfect, thin, chirstian child.

    They don't understand that I try! I try to be good. I try to be perfect. I try to be the best daughter...

    They make me feel horrible, and they don't care. I don't want to live with them anymore. I don't want to live anymore. I want to be free from this crap. I'm done. Their life would be better without me.
     
  2. forgotten_poet

    forgotten_poet Account Closed

    Suicide: a permanent solution to a temporary situation. Are you seeking relief from the pain you experience?
     
  3. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    Yes, I am.
     
  4. forgotten_poet

    forgotten_poet Account Closed

    Then by ending your life, you are preventing that. Relief is a feeling, and one cannot feel anything if they are dead.
    Relief may be found in hope. The key to hope lies in staying alive and knowing that Fate will turn the tables when it is time.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2010
  5. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    I guess so, but who knows how long that will take? I don't know how much more I can even handle.
     
  6. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    You've come this far and life hasn't beaten you yet, and it doesn't have to beat you now. You'll get older and move out soon enough, for now you just need to grit your teeth and keep moving forward. Killing yourself is not the answer.

    Have you told anybody else about what you're going through?
     
  7. forgotten_poet

    forgotten_poet Account Closed

    Although it seems the contrary, life never gives you more than you can handle.
    Suicide is the result of coping strategies being defeated by painful experiences. You need to develop a coping strategy that works with your pain, a creative outlet.
     
  8. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    Oh, people don't give a crap about verbal abuse where I am. If they knew about the past.. they'd worry, but wouldn't do anything. It's like, unless someone's physically hurting my now.. no one cares.

    I've tried other coping strategies. I used to cut, and writing. I haven't written in a while though.. I'm not sure if it'll still help.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2010
  9. forgotten_poet

    forgotten_poet Account Closed

    As far as your situation goes, I understand. I am a runaway from a verbally abusive foster home, so if you want to, PM me.
    Not to say you should run away, though.
     
  10. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    Thanks.
    I've considered running away thousand of times. I've done it once, but I was only ten, so I was scared and came back the next day.
     
  11. Robin

    Robin Guest

    The trouble with running away is you are always there and the problem with cutting your arms up is you will always find room for another cut.

    Instead of the daily battle to punish yourself for the weaknesses of others create a daily battle to help yourself, if you were my daughter I might hazard a guess I'd probably be inclined to ground you and maybe even lose my temper with you but when a parent does so, they are either doing so because they love you or because they can't stand the thought that they are failing.

    Everyone needs their own space, if not at home somewhere else, we may be social creatures at heart but let's face it, people can be a real pain in the butt sometimes :) and we are no exception.
     
  12. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    I don't like facing my problems though... I've tried too many times to do so, so I either find a way to hurt myself or run away from them.

    And I agree, everyone needs space. Sometimes, I love my space. But other times, I'd rather be around people so I can try to be happy.
     
  13. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Of course you do, the trouble is you always end up back where you are and the thoughts you are busy avoiding are still nagging in the background pushing you further and further into harms way, not that you might see that as a bad thing but I doubt even you like living in a twilight.

    Isn't everyone the same?
     
  14. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    I don't like living that way, but I guess I don't know how to get out of it.
     
  15. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Sometimes it takes a professional to help us out :)
     
  16. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    I don't have a therapist anymore because we have financial problems. And talking face-to-face is just really hard for me.
     
  17. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I don't really keep up to date with current events, how's Obama progressing with free health care?
     
  18. Silent Angel

    Silent Angel Well-Known Member

    Oh I honestly don't know. There was this whole thing about taking health care away from seniors, and I'm not sure what has happened after that.
     
  19. DS

    DS Account Closed

    hugs angel. calm. deep breaths. it is one person saying this. it is one opinion. you are okay.

    read the rest of it...this person also said they "would have executed both of them..."

    you don't need to listen to that sort of thing okay?

    Everyone else is being supportive. dont' focus on that comment...don't read it anymore if it upsets you...it may even be possible to have it removed, i'm not sure.

    Calm and get some healthy focus. Be open to the healthy support folks are giving you.

    **hugs** kiddo

    I'm glad you approached me. You don't need to be alone when you feel this upset. don't be afraid to approach other folks. there are some good ppl here.
     
  20. Robin

    Robin Guest

    When I started the site, there was a member called tryingtofloat, I was convinced as others were at the time, that she was making everything up and when we chatted on aim I would pull all sorts of cleverness to catch her out. Whether for her own reasons or because I added to the stress of her life she left the site.

    I've had ash in my mouth ever since, most people who suffer and lie as a result will own up sooner or later given enough support, it's not for us to judge a persons lack of insight into their own well being, we are after all, all victims of our own suffering and lack of insight.

    I haven't heard Silent Angel's story but she's welcome to share it without fear of being ridiculed.

    If you want to see tryingtofloat's posts you can visit and read them here at SF's Archives:

    http://www.suicideforum.org/user-87.html
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010
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