This year has been very hard....no different from the last couple of years but still. I feel scapegoated by my family at times and it makes me angry and bitter. Two relatives, who i rarely see, called themselves giving a so called "tough love" speech earlier this year that came off one sided and was just a load of bullshit. I am going to write to them, but it's hard because i feel like all i want to say is "fuck you you fat fuck" over and over again. but i have to get my voice out in this letter, but i want it to have a real impact. i just feel like with so many other things in my life, it just feels like it will end up in vain. i hate this feeling.