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I am so fucked

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#1
I can't get hired by fast food places, cleaning firms or phone-salesman jobs (even commission only). I don't even want to work, this is so fucking stupid. I don't want to rely on my parents either. I should get to die now, how could my parents bring me into this world? I have to either lie or get an education in order for my resume to not be 4 years of nothing but two jobs that I exited after three weeks. I don't want to lie on my resume and I don't want to get an education. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY HAVE ME? WHY AM I HERE? WE ARE OVERPOPULATED, I AM NOT NEEDED.

<Mod edit - guidelines>
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#3
Sorry that you're going through this.

What about applying for vocational assistance for people with disabilities, or full disability benefits?
Can't get s-word (teehee, baddie wordie teehee), at least nothing close to a full-time job in terms of cash
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#7
Sometimes on a peer support forum such as SF we may be given some advice that we don't feel is right for us. But it's important to remember that nobody here is a professional, they are all fighting their own battles just like us and that any advice given is done with the best of intentions.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#8
Well, I hope something can help
Sometimes on a peer support forum such as SF we may be given some advice that we don't feel is right for us. But it's important to remember that nobody here is a professional, they are all fighting their own battles just like us and that any advice given is done with the best of intentions.
Sorry guys, was feeling really bad and suicidal and got upset that the mods deleted my post for using the "r-word", felt like I was a toddler getting scolded by mommy and basically threw a tantrum. You should have recieved gratitude for attempting to help another, so I thank you now, and I also apologize.
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

§ Eclectic nutbag ©
SF Supporter
#9
Sorry guys, was feeling really bad and suicidal and got upset that the mods deleted my post for using the "r-word", felt like I was a toddler getting scolded by mommy and basically threw a tantrum. You should have recieved gratitude for attempting to help another, so I thank you now, and I also apologize.
You can still express yourself freely without using words that are against forum rules. It would be the same for anyone who uses that word, so we're not against you. We genuinely want to support and help you.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#10
/+-*/E="Legate Lanius, post: 2110833, member: 57891"]Sorry guys, was feeling really bad and suicidal and got upset that the mods deleted my post for using the "r-word", felt like I was a toddler getting scolded by mommy and basically threw a tantrum. You should have recieved gratitude for attempting to help another, so I thank you now, and I also apologize.[/QUOTE]

This is the whole getting "banned" for using a "bad" world is the infantile bubble-wrapped world we live in today.

The way to look at it is that society has to move at the pace of its slowest member. This is true of everything. You know when they ban something? It's basically saying, normal people can handle it but there's these dumb sheep who don't know how to think for themselves and so cause a negative actions & consequences for everyone else. . So guess what? NOW NO ONE GETS TO HAVE IT.

I take drugs like a champion but a few years back, some lunatic takes meth and ends up going insane and killing her 2 kids. So what happens? NO MORE DRUGS FOR EVERYONE! End Of!
 

Quietus

Well-Known Member
#11
Whoops. I didn't even know we couldn't cuss, ha.

Guess I should've read the fine print.

Legate, have you thought about going into IT, or otherwise tech school? Technical, maintenance, and computer jobs will always be needed (unless of course they further reduce the necessity of humans by making automatons ubiquitous), unlike a four-year-degree in say, Social Studies or something.

Better than wasting four years in college for degree that sits in the closet.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#13
/+-*/E="Legate Lanius, post: 2110833, member: 57891"]Sorry guys, was feeling really bad and suicidal and got upset that the mods deleted my post for using the "r-word", felt like I was a toddler getting scolded by mommy and basically threw a tantrum. You should have recieved gratitude for attempting to help another, so I thank you now, and I also apologize.
This is the whole getting "banned" for using a "bad" world is the infantile bubble-wrapped world we live in today.

The way to look at it is that society has to move at the pace of its slowest member. This is true of everything. You know when they ban something? It's basically saying, normal people can handle it but there's these dumb sheep who don't know how to think for themselves and so cause a negative actions & consequences for everyone else. . So guess what? NOW NO ONE GETS TO HAVE IT.

I take drugs like a champion but a few years back, some lunatic takes meth and ends up going insane and killing her 2 kids. So what happens? NO MORE DRUGS FOR EVERYONE! End Of![/QUOTE]
I actually think that we should adapt to the "slowest member", especially since I am basically that. You'd get a completely different response from be before my "fall", however.
Whoops. I didn't even know we couldn't cuss, ha.

Guess I should've read the fine print.

Legate, have you thought about going into IT, or otherwise tech school? Technical, maintenance, and computer jobs will always be needed (unless of course they further reduce the necessity of humans by making automatons ubiquitous), unlike a four-year-degree in say, Social Studies or something.

Better than wasting four years in college for degree that sits in the closet.
I can work with anything that's easy, manual labor of some sort would be best so that I get some exercise at work. But no one will hire me. Got fired from a warehouse for not being able to follow instructions. If I get some tech expertise through education or a training program/internship/apprenticeship I might have a chance to get a job withing tech but I doubt it. Even if I got one, I'd probably get fired due to autism/depression. The biggest issue for me is that I'm too honest about my mental state, low motivation and that I've basically failed at everything for 4 years and learned nothing.

I don't have enough motivation/energy/need in order to lie or put on a front. In this economy, with all of these people lining up to flip burgers and scrub toilets, I just don't have a chance. But yes, I'd work in IT but it probably takes me getting through an education; both times I've gone to uni I get so fucked in the head (seeing young couples, neurotypicals enjoying themselves, etc) that I have to leave or kill myself.

If I could find a quick and easy route to circumvent the four year gap (even worse than a gap, but whatever) in my resume I'd do it.
 

Quietus

Well-Known Member
#14
This is the whole getting "banned" for using a "bad" world is the infantile bubble-wrapped world we live in today.

The way to look at it is that society has to move at the pace of its slowest member. This is true of everything. You know when they ban something? It's basically saying, normal people can handle it but there's these dumb sheep who don't know how to think for themselves and so cause a negative actions & consequences for everyone else. . So guess what? NOW NO ONE GETS TO HAVE IT.

I take drugs like a champion but a few years back, some lunatic takes meth and ends up going insane and killing her 2 kids. So what happens? NO MORE DRUGS FOR EVERYONE! End Of!
I actually think that we should adapt to the "slowest member", especially since I am basically that. You'd get a completely different response from be before my "fall", however.

I can work with anything that's easy, manual labor of some sort would be best so that I get some exercise at work. But no one will hire me. Got fired from a warehouse for not being able to follow instructions. If I get some tech expertise through education or a training program/internship/apprenticeship I might have a chance to get a job withing tech but I doubt it. Even if I got one, I'd probably get fired due to autism/depression. The biggest issue for me is that I'm too honest about my mental state, low motivation and that I've basically failed at everything for 4 years and learned nothing.

I don't have enough motivation/energy/need in order to lie or put on a front. In this economy, with all of these people lining up to flip burgers and scrub toilets, I just don't have a chance. But yes, I'd work in IT but it probably takes me getting through an education; both times I've gone to uni I get so fucked in the head (seeing young couples, neurotypicals enjoying themselves, etc) that I have to leave or kill myself.

If I could find a quick and easy route to circumvent the four year gap (even worse than a gap, but whatever) in my resume I'd do it.
I get it. I've had to put a couple of lies on my own resume to account for gaps.

I totally understand not having the energy to put up the facade.

The pathologically polite persona with all its pretense.

All you can really do is try again, and see if you catch a break.

It is very Sisyphean, especially when you don't even want to work in the first place.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#15
I get it. I've had to put a couple of lies on my own resume to account for gaps.

I totally understand not having the energy to put up the facade.

The pathologically polite persona with all its pretense.

All you can really do is try again, and see if you catch a break.

It is very Sisyphean, especially when you don't even want to work in the first place.
You understand it completely. Thank you. It will come down to getting lucky or somehow getting through an education (failed twice before).
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#16
This is the whole getting "banned" for using a "bad" world is the infantile bubble-wrapped world we live in today.

The way to look at it is that society has to move at the pace of its slowest member. This is true of everything. You know when they ban something? It's basically saying, normal people can handle it but there's these dumb sheep who don't know how to think for themselves and so cause a negative actions & consequences for everyone else. . So guess what? NOW NO ONE GETS TO HAVE IT.

I take drugs like a champion but a few years back, some lunatic takes meth and ends up going insane and killing her 2 kids. So what happens? NO MORE DRUGS FOR EVERYONE! End Of!
I actually think that we should adapt to the "slowest member", especially since I am basically that. You'd get a completely different response from be before my "fall", however.

I can work with anything that's easy, manual labor of some sort would be best so that I get some exercise at work. But no one will hire me. Got fired from a warehouse for not being able to follow instructions. If I get some tech expertise through education or a training program/internship/apprenticeship I might have a chance to get a job withing tech but I doubt it. Even if I got one, I'd probably get fired due to autism/depression. The biggest issue for me is that I'm too honest about my mental state, low motivation and that I've basically failed at everything for 4 years and learned nothing.

I don't have enough motivation/energy/need in order to lie or put on a front. In this economy, with all of these people lining up to flip burgers and scrub toilets, I just don't have a chance. But yes, I'd work in IT but it probably takes me getting through an education; both times I've gone to uni I get so fucked in the head (seeing young couples, neurotypicals enjoying themselves, etc) that I have to leave or kill myself.

If I could find a quick and easy route to circumvent the four year gap (even worse than a gap, but whatever) in my resume I'd do it.[/QUOTE]

Hey Legate L, there are tons of self-taught software developers finding jobs over the past few years. Check out the YouTube channel by Andy Sterkowitz, a self-taught programmer who went from Sales into IT within a few years. There are tons of developers with channels that give tutorials for free on all aspects of tech; Traversy Media, Leigh Halliday, Web Dev Simplified, freeCodeCamp.org, The Coding Train, Code,Tech and Tutorials, to name just a few. Now I won't say it's easy, it takes a lot of commitment & hard work but if it's something you're willing to dive into, there are so many free resources available. And don't get too hung up on which language to choose. I guarantee, once you master one programming language, the rest are a lot easier to get to grips with. Programming languages are really just a tool to implement a certain type of solution but it's being adept at problem-solving that is actually the fundamental skill driving any type of software development. Programming is about a certain type of thinking; It's a particular mindset; taking abstract ideas, thinking about them programmatically and how this translates to a workable solution.

I work in software development myself, and although my background was in Java & C++ - both of those languages are object-oriented and quite powerful - but where I work now they use a more procedural, verbose language. But all languages share certain constructs & data structures in common; variables, declarations, looping contracts, method & functions, and all programs follow logical groupings of al the components.

I studied computer science as a post grad, but still to this day, either Google and YouTube come in very handy when I get stuck on something. In fact, most programmers have that one in their bag of tricks. And like with most things, practice makes prefect and experience always comes eventually.

Is this something you would like to try your hand at?
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#17
I actually think that we should adapt to the "slowest member", especially since I am basically that. You'd get a completely different response from be before my "fall", however.

I can work with anything that's easy, manual labor of some sort would be best so that I get some exercise at work. But no one will hire me. Got fired from a warehouse for not being able to follow instructions. If I get some tech expertise through education or a training program/internship/apprenticeship I might have a chance to get a job withing tech but I doubt it. Even if I got one, I'd probably get fired due to autism/depression. The biggest issue for me is that I'm too honest about my mental state, low motivation and that I've basically failed at everything for 4 years and learned nothing.

I don't have enough motivation/energy/need in order to lie or put on a front. In this economy, with all of these people lining up to flip burgers and scrub toilets, I just don't have a chance. But yes, I'd work in IT but it probably takes me getting through an education; both times I've gone to uni I get so fucked in the head (seeing young couples, neurotypicals enjoying themselves, etc) that I have to leave or kill myself.

If I could find a quick and easy route to circumvent the four year gap (even worse than a gap, but whatever) in my resume I'd do it.
Hey Legate L, there are tons of self-taught software developers finding jobs over the past few years. Check out the YouTube channel by Andy Sterkowitz, a self-taught programmer who went from Sales into IT within a few years. There are tons of developers with channels that give tutorials for free on all aspects of tech; Traversy Media, Leigh Halliday, Web Dev Simplified, freeCodeCamp.org, The Coding Train, Code,Tech and Tutorials, to name just a few. Now I won't say it's easy, it takes a lot of commitment & hard work but if it's something you're willing to dive into, there are so many free resources available. And don't get too hung up on which language to choose. I guarantee, once you master one programming language, the rest are a lot easier to get to grips with. Programming languages are really just a tool to implement a certain type of solution but it's being adept at problem-solving that is actually the fundamental skill driving any type of software development. Programming is about a certain type of thinking; It's a particular mindset; taking abstract ideas, thinking about them programmatically and how this translates to a workable solution.

I work in software development myself, and although my background was in Java & C++ - both of those languages are object-oriented and quite powerful - but where I work now they use a more procedural, verbose language. But all languages share certain constructs & data structures in common; variables, declarations, looping contracts, method & functions, and all programs follow logical groupings of al the components.

I studied computer science as a post grad, but still to this day, either Google and YouTube come in very handy when I get stuck on something. In fact, most programmers have that one in their bag of tricks. And like with most things, practice makes prefect and experience always comes eventually.

Is this something you would like to try your hand at?[/QUOTE]
I like the idea of typing on a computer from home as a job, of course. But the competition is probably horrible and having a blank resume with reassurances of that I know how to code because I looked up stuff online won't land me a job. I'd rather do something that's bound to get me a job and that is difficult to fuck up.

Idk I think I'm just going to be a NEET until I kill myself, there are too many people on this planet and I'm really not needed here.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#18
I like the idea of typing on a computer from home as a job, of course. But the competition is probably horrible and having a blank resume with reassurances of that I know how to code because I looked up stuff online won't land me a job. I'd rather do something that's bound to get me a job and that is difficult to fuck up.

Idk I think I'm just going to be a NEET until I kill myself, there are too many people on this planet and I'm really not needed here.
Something strange going on with the embedded quotes there, think it's now sorted.

You're 100% right that the competition is horrible, no argument there. In fact, it's not enough just to be a software developer or a programmer. You need to learn how to market yourself, not just to increase your development skills, but to figure out how else you can utilize this skill set. But bear in mind, If you're a software developer, you also have the option of doing freelancing.

A lot of these coding boot camps are a waste of time and they're expensive, but like I said, there are tons of free resources available where you can learn pretty much everything you need to know just to get your foot in the door, if you intend to go the company employee route. The job I'm in now, for the first year I didn't write one line of code, just spend everyday troubleshooting production issues. Complete headache and i was bored out of my mind. Now I'm developing automation frameworks. But having said that, there's still a ton of stuff I look up and ask colleagues about. There's stuff they ask me about. Sometimes it can take hours to trace down just one pesky software bug. This is the lot of most programmers. Doesn't matter how smart you are, software involves the interplay of so many variables that it can get very complicated very quickly.

What I see a lot of self-taught programmers do, is that they put the work & commitment in, make whatever sacrifices they have to, and build up a portfolio of all their work; applications, web sites, games, everything they've developed and this is what they showcase at an interview. Not only that, instead of getting stuck in tutorial hell, you get to actually build something. You Learn by doing. Sure, you'll makes tons of mistakes, you'll want to tear your hair out and you'll even question the purpose of your very existence. But I guarantee you, we've all done that. It's just the nature of the beast. And what any mentor in the field will tell you: practice, practice, practice.

I'm not unsympathetic to how you're feeling. I know you're in a tough spot. But maybe look at all the possible avenues to change yourself first before writing yourself off completely? If there's anything I can you with, let me know.
 

Sunspots

Pffffeckn amazin
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#19
Not sure where you're from Legate but in the UK we have an apprenticeship program.
My son did an apprenticeship in software development and coding after failing his A levels and therefore not being able to go to uni. Okay, the pay was pretty shit (£600 a month for a full time job) but it was better than nothing and the two years of experience he got was invaluable. He finished a couple of years ago and is doing really well, just as well as if he'd gone to uni as planned.
 

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