i so much am. So why am i going to do it? well a number of things has led me to..with one huge one and that is being accused of several things.. i mean come on what in the world is wrong with people these days? Do they not ever believe that they are the ones who could be wrong? my dad has cancer and he is taking chemo to try and fight it, well he wanted to take a trip with all of us to a theme park and he has the money in the bank.. well the only problem with that is he has a rep payee..they have control and say so on his money, well they tell us when we asked for some of his money to go get a RV. to buy one.. they would not let us rent one, well we go and get one, they release his money to buy it, and they tell us that in order to leave and go on the trip we have to leave around the 15 th of this month, so we do, we make plans and everything. well the guy we bought the RV off of tells us it had brand new tires on it and they look new, how are we to know they are not new when the tread on it is good, they even still have the stickers on them.. well we head out only to get stranded with 2 flat tires, so i kindly ask a minister to post it on an online local forum that we are needing 2 tires and all well he does do this for us. we finally get some tires somewhere and get back into towen, and i go online and read the things on there it makes me mad. so i post a very ill post and i get told its all my fault that i did all this, that i made my family suffer, and all because i did not check things out, but i did check things out and i was litterly forced to go on that date or they would not let dad have his money. i did what i had to do.. well now they are saying that i am childish and everything else. they simply refuse to believe the truth after i have repeatedly told them. i had no choice but to go at that time, yet they all still say i am the one to blame for all this trouble,etc.. they are so blinded and nothing i can say will ever penetrate their tiny little minds. i did the only thing i could do. i dont have control over my dads money, that company does and the only way i could even attempt to get dads wish was to do exactly like that company said for me to do. and now i am being blamed as childish, and stupid, and dumb, because according to them i did not plan it out, did not listen to them but i did listen, and was forced into a decision that landed me stuck a few days up north and now come back to a big bam on to me from people i thought were my friends.. nobody is my friend.. they say i am to blame for all this misery well its going to end.. without me here i cant cause any more pain on anyone. an i tried to reason with them, i really tried to, and yes i got mad and cursed, but i did try yet they wont listen.. they were not there when i talked to dads rep payee, they do not know what his rep payee told me or had me to do yet they think they know it all, but are so very wrong.. so i am so going to do it.. i am sick of all this pain, of all this heartache and like they said i caused it all upon my family.. because of me and my stupid big heart to help give dad a final wish i messed it all up again, i always do again and again.. heck one even quoted that its the same ol same ol with me, i mean what the heck are they meaning? i cant change to please therm. i am simply me but they cant just love simply me, because i am not like them.. because i am dumb and stupid.. but i am so going.. i have had it with everything..