I am so sick of it all

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ziva, Jan 12, 2011.

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  1. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    My life has been nothing but impossible it seems since I was born. In earlier posts I posted about having epilepsy and how I am facing a charge because of a woman who I decided to call and find out why she was making my life hell for having a seizure(she chagred me with assault- I apparently hit her while in a seizure while in a hospital bed, then when I called her AFTER the charge got a conditional discharge- the conditional discharge said NOTHING about not being able to contact her, just keep taking my medication, which I was prescribed AFTER the incident).
    A few days after I was charged with harassing the woman - I called her to find out why she would press charges on me for assault when she was offered my medical file, and this was after I was given the conditional discharge that said nothing about staying away from her, I went to Costco. This happened in August 2010 by the way, just to let you know.
    While I was in Costco, some person took some videogames out of their packages and hid them, and I got blamed for it, and even though I emptied my purse and pockets, Costco still took my membership away. A few weeks later I went back and got another membership, and nothing was said to me about not being allowed to be there. I have been there a few times since, and even though I never used my membership card(I have another family member who uses theirs all the time so I don't really use mine, they wanted me to get one though so I did), nothing was said to me. It was only a few weeks ago when I tried to use it that I found out it was "Inactive." I went today and asked what that meant, and they weren't sure. And, when I went out to get my cell phone, I came back in and a different person was working the "Check in"(the one who sees your card and allows you in). The person told me I wasn't allowed in, and I showed them my membership card(I still kept it on me even though it was "Inactive", I did this at the advice of a friend), and said I was going to get a prescription filled, which was true, since my prescriptions have always been filled there. The person didn't know what to say after that, they don't require your membership when you go to fill a prescription, and I have been to the store many times since the incident, so if I was banned I'm sure I would have been told before today. Anyway, the person who said I wasn't allowed in called someone, but nobody came to speak to me, and I just sat at a table after getting my prescription.
    And, another fact is a few weeks ago I put money in a personal feminine dispensing machine but it ate my money and never gave me my product. The Assistant Manager was called, who is also a female, and she spoke to me and got me my product but never said anything about me not being allowed back in the store.
    I am really confused by all of this, and what pisses me off is that they took my membership away from me because of a guy who was older than me claimed I stole some video games, and I didn't have anything in my purse or pockets, and the video games I supposedly stole were for a game system I don't have and I am not stupid enough to sell them if I did steal them, since I know that the store can call all second hand shops and tell them to be on the lookout for the video games that were stolen.
    I contacted a lawyer the day after I was first accused of stealing the video games, and the lawyer said that I shouldn't worry since it was doubtful that the police would be called(they weren't), and since at the time I was not told that I'm not allowed back in the store I should be allowed back. Since I have been back many times since the incident and never had anything to "hide" my identity and employees did see me and like I said before even the Assistant Manager, who I did not deal with the day I was accused of stealing the games saw me and never said anything.
    I am really confused and don't know what to do, I may wait a few months and get another membership, and I am thinking of calling the head of Costco, not the one in my province, the toll free number to ask a few questions. That might not be the best option, but I don't know what else to do. Has anyone else had anything similar happen to them? If so, how did you handle it? I would appreciate all the help I can get.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    :hugtackles::hugtackles::hugtackles::cheekkiss:cheekkiss
     
  3. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the hugs, you're really nice. I don't know how much longer I can hold on though, I'm thinking of ending it all tomorrow night, but I doubt my attempt will be successful given that I attempted too many times now(more than 12).
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dont attempt again okay if you are feeling so low please call someone anyone. I called my councillor the other night and she help me hold on. Call crisis line a couple of times too it helps to hear a real voice it does. Please just go into hospital maybe for a few days to get stable to ask your doctor to change your meds maybe but don't harm you anymore okay. You can hang on here with us make new friends here Hugs okay i mean it no more harming you call and get help
     
  5. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    I have been calling a crisis line, and they're almost useless. They don't really tell you anything or give you advice. And when I did go to the hospital once because I was suicidal after something really bad happened they discharged me and gave me an Ativan pill! I was going to go jump off a building but all the windows in the building I tried to jump out of were sealed. And no, this wasn't the hospital I tried to jump out of. It was a local bank. It's as if they don't care. Anyway, I just wish it all was over. I don't mean to be saying that but it's true, I do wish I could die. There's many reasons why, with the legal stuff I'm facing(the one I posted earlier about the nurse charge that charged me with harassment after I called to find out why she charged me with assault because I was having a seizure and hit her while in a hospital bed and I was unconscious, I called her after the charge was dealt with, I did not have anything that said I could not call her or have any contact with her on my conditional discharge- thing is, I'm not a violent person, the worst I do is tell someone off, I don't intentionally hit people. And she's claiming I swore at her and called her names on the phone, I never, all I did was ask why she would charge me with assault after being offered my medical file on my history of epilepsy and denying the file, she would not even look at it according to my mom. My mom does not know what she looks like and neither do I), being harassed by people online like my ex-boyfriend, who goes on different sites to harass me and I make new accounts and block him so he can't contact me, but he just makes a new account on these sites and posts nasty messages to me, I report them to the administrators on the site but they just ban the accounts he makes to harass me with, they don't do an IP ban on him or anything, and this isn't on Facebook either, or a site where I can limit who can contact me such as only friends contacting me. And I join these sites because I have friends on there, and they don't know him, but they agree that for his age(he is two years older than me), he certainly doesn't act like it. He acts like he is 13 years old, and I used to say that he was acting like a 15 year old, but that's a compliment since I know 15 year olds who are more mature than him! I try to ignore him, but when he has been doing this since May 2009 it's hard to ignore. And guess what? The police won't do a thing about it, even though it's online and for everyone to see, and what he posts is worse than what I'm accused of saying to the nurse! It angers me that the police will charge me with harassment just because this woman says I said stuff to her that I never said, yet they won't do a thing about what my ex-boyfriend, or other people that bully me that I know personally, online. It's like they support bullying or something. I attended a school once where I was bullied REALLY BADLY and it was done even in front of school administrators(I was once shoved down the stairs and broke my ankle and the person who shoved me said "Go fucking die you stupid retard!" right in front of a teacher). Even though I didn't do ANYTHING to him, I don't ever intentionally start fights, I'm not like that. And if I do something that someone finds offensive, I apologize. Anyway, this school has made my life hell, and is part of the reason that IF I'm still alive by the time I get my degree in University, I will be leaving the province I'm in and won't be returning to stay. My mom knows people who have teenagers that are younger than me and kids who are younger than me(This was a school that was from Grade Four to Grade Nine)that took their kids out of the school because the bullying is that bad. And, I moved to another part of the City to get away from the bullying and started attending a different school(I finished Jr. High in the other school that made my life miserable and started high school when I moved). Things were fine for three months until one of the bullies from the other school I attended began attending the High school I was now attending. The bully started bullying me again, and even though I ignored it, he got his friends to join in and soon it spread like wildfire.

    And now, even though I'm 21 years old, people that bully me that got their driver's liscence that see me that drive by roll down their windows and call me names, and I don't respond, I can only hope that they crash into another car or something(this sounds horrible, I know), since they aren't watching what they are doing. What will they say to the police officer then? "Oh, I was calling this pedestrian names so that is why I crashed into this car or whatever?!?!?!?!"

    This is not a pity story or anything, I am just giving you an idea of why I hate my life so much and want to die.
     
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