I'm so sick of this. Whenever I get into a fight with anyone, especially my boyfriend (this happened yesterday), I start self-harming without realizing it. Well, I sort of realize it, but it doesn't hurt. For example, I had a mosquito bite and I just kept itching and itching and I woke up this morning with a huge scab on my knee. And because of the fight yesterday, I have two new scabs on my right hip. I already have a few scars on my hip from the same thing. Plus many more on my arms. That's another thing - I was just thing mine and my boyfriend's family on vacation and my scars for scratching (I previously used another, more popular method of SH but this way is easier - I did it when I was in treatment - but it leaves worse scars) are so prominent and disgusting that I cannot look at my left arm and I felt so ashamed around my boyfriend's little girl cousins, who I became like a big sister to. Sorry, i just had to rant about how sick I am of involuntarily scratching and how sick I am of my scars.