I am so lonely. It's painful and embarrassing and just altogether shit. I had a go at a friend of mine for keeping somebody around who is treating her badly. But he tells her he loves her and he is there for her and he hugs her and makes her feel wanted and special. She keeps him around because she can fool herself into pretending it's real. The sad thing is - I would probably do the same. I hate feeling so lonely and unwanted, so unloved and not cared for. I look around at these bitchy girls and these really nasty people in society, who are loved and worshipped. I look at my friend who beats up her fucking boyfriend and treats him like dirt, spends her days slagging him off and he even said she could sleep with other people, just not to leave him. I look at how mean and selfish she is towards everybody else, how materialistic and hedonistic she is, how she openly admits to hating everybody and would step over someone to get where she wanted. How she puts us all down so that she can feel better about herself. I look at her and wonder - how come she has it all and I have nothing? How come she has someone who loves her unconditionally, so much so he'd probably kill himself if he left her, and I have nothing and no-one. It's just fucking shit, that's what it is.