There is not a day that goes by, that in some way or another, I am reminded, that I am no longer welcomed in this world. It makes me want to scream to the world, I am sorry they hurt me the way they did, I am sorry my mind is in pieces because of it, I am sorry they left me so full of rage I have trouble controlling it sometimes. I am the one who got hurt, yet i am the who feels the need to apologize. They are the ones who should be punished for what they did, not me. I foolishly thought by getting professional help the suicidal thoughts would go away. They did for a bit, but they are back. My biggest fear is that I will try again on the spur of the moment like I did the first two times. I dont want to feel this way but it is very hard not to for me. I feel like I should just do eveyone a favor and get it over with.