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I am Sorry

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Thank you, if you let this be posted in your group. But even if you don't, I completely understand. I don't really know where to begin, but I won't make it long. I just feel so bad. I don't talk about this sort of thing. I don't even know how to talk about this.

Perhaps I could just ask a question: Do you ever feel like a coward because you can't do the act, and it makes you sick, like you aren't even man enough to do it? I have experimented, you know, but at the last minute, I can't go through with it. So, I probably won't do it, but I want to, if you know what I mean. And I keep thinking there has to be a way that I can do it.

Alas, I ramble.

Thank you for letting me join your group. I just thought maybe I'd seek an outside perspective on things.


total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi first off Welcome to SF What your feeling many people feel hugs to you
YOu are not a coward you are in pain and suffering you just want to find peace YOu donot want to leave. I think staying here talking to others will help you see there is a way to heal a way to find peace with out leaving.
Medication helps it does and so does therapy Talking here helps too It took courage to reach out for help here so keep doing that okay hugs to you


Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
HI and welcome to the forum. Dont feel akward about posting here. You are more than welcome to post anything you need to. When people say they want to but cant I dont think of them as a coward. I think of them as very strong. To be able to not do it when you are feeling so lost that you need to do it. And dont forget that we all have the instinct to survive. That plays a huge factor in it too.

I hope you kep posting because that helps a lot too. Being able to say here what you cant talk about in RL. And you dont have to explain yourself because the other members here understand what you are feeling. Posting helps as it lets you get out things that you ahve been trying to keep hidden away. Drop me a pm anytime you want or need to.


Well-Known Member
Welcome to SF,

I have felt like that before, like why cant I just get it over with and quit all this whinning and moaning. I start thinking about the people and things around me that I love, and I just cant leave them.

Your not alone in this and never feel sorry for posting, I did to in the beginning but now I know there are alot of caring and great people here that knows and understands how I feel, I hope you find the same.

Hope to see more posts from you.
I feel like a failure as well.. I've tryed many times to kill myself but I never seem to cut deep enough or in the right spot or take the right medications or enough of it. One time the doctor told me if I had not come in when I did I'd be on dialysis. Another a nice kind doctor told me congratulations, you have brain damage when I came to. Gee thanks I think she was just being a bitch. I'm pretty messed up though. I feel like such a failure cause there are people that do it on their first try and I couldn't even get it right on the 20th. But medication does help, I actually smile from time to time now on abilify. I've not smiled much sober pretty much my whole life. Maybe there is no real problems in my life. Maybe it's just purely an imbalance.
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