I am sorry

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Dec 10, 2011.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I can only do so much. I can only try so many times to be there for some of you. If you don't reach back to me, what am I meant to do? How does that make me feel, you think?

    This is happening over and over here. I can't handle it ladies & gents. Its eats into my inadequacies too much. Its not good for me right now to keep trying and trying but to get nothing in return - not even an acknowledgement.

    I know many of you are in pain and I know many of you isolate to try and deal with things. Perhaps I take too much on board and become too involved because I worry about not hearing from people.

    But I have been here for you, and I really have tried, I feel, to help. Perhaps I'm just not the type of person who can be there for others - or one who can help others in any way. Maybe you didn't want to talk or help or whatever in the first place, but were too reserved to say anything.

    Irregardless, I can't do this any longer, it hurts me too much to experience this rejection over and over and over. And, of course it makes me feel like i'm disposable and inadequate and a host of other emotions that eat at me.

    Therefore I am sorry, I can't keep trying, I can't keep pushing some of you to try and help you, to get you to talk, to try and find a way to feel better, just to be here for some of you. I feel (and know) I am letting you down, I hope you can somewhat understand.

    Again, I am sorry, but I am completely depleted.

    I just can't.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This reminds me to say a heartfelt thank you for all of your caring and to apologize if I have not been as attentive in doing that as I should have been...you know how much I care and I am still waiting here, drink in hand...and so is Marley, the gato biggo (grande, I know)
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun someone told me one you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drinK Same goes here hun you have done everything you can so be proud of you okay you have reached out and given them some direction that is all one can do Please don't feel your efforts have fallen on deafen ears they hear you but just don't know how to respond hun
    Thanks for all you do here h un YOu need to look after YOU too hun please do not push yourself to the point you are drained that is not good for you or them hugs to you
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear Mo,

    ~ Speedy processes his thoughts ~

    Ma'am, the fact that you make such sincere efforts to reach many of us reflects you as a person... We see it in your giving without knowing what might never be paid forward.. And even more so when you are suffering. You are dear to me and much of this community, and I am grateful to see you on SF. You cheer up our days, and regardless of whether you agree with this or not I think you are worthwhile as a person and if others don't see this or choose not to, for whichever reason, that's their loss. ((Mo)) ~ smiles at you and salutes ~

    With fondest regards,

    Sr Speedy del sur
  5. I'm new here and don't know anyone. I came here to vent last night because I was on one of my turns and just wanted to speak to someone who might listen.

    You have a huge amount of posts and that tells me that you care about people and try hard to help them. That to me is a great thing and it may not mean much coming from me, but I think you are a caring person. Don't be frustrated if people don't always respond back to you. I'm sure it's nothing personal and I'd bet you are 10000 times more appreciated than you give yourself credit for.

    Hang in there!
  6. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    ((Mo)) I went back and found a few of your latest posts and realized that because I hadn't seen these posts before, I'd missed some opportunities to give support and comfort to one of my favorite SF friends. Please know that had I seen your posts, there would have been no delay in offering my support. I am certain that many of your other friends here were silent for the same reason. I really do feel your pain. I too tend to take it personally when I offer support or ask for support and get no response. I try not to, but I'm a sensitive person with a PLANET of insecurity. I just can't help it. Please know that you are absolutely NOT disposable. YOU ARE VALUABLE BEYOND MEASURE (yep... I'm shouting it)... and I mean that from the bottom of my heart! You've reached out to me when I've needed it, and you've made a difference in my life and the lives of so many others here. Looking back and reading your last few posts for the first time makes me realize how easy it is to miss these things. This simultaneously makes me feel sad at how I've likely missed many posts by SF friends that I really care about, while also making me feel a little better about how some of my own posts have been ignored. I apologize if I'm not making sense... I'm sleep deprived to the point of delerium. Just try to hear and consider my message and please don't give up.

    Sending hugs and friendship... T :console:

    PS: Years ago, a friend who knew that I was struggling gave me a cassette tape with this song, and now I'm passing this song on to you, my friend:
  7. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    Mo... I have to log out soon, but please check in as soon as you can to let us all know that you're safe. I promise to respond as soon as I can. :console:
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I thank you all sincerely for your kind and caring words.

    I wasn't trying to hurt anyone by this and I am sorry as it seems I have.

    I am sorry, again.
  9. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Mo :hug: sorry I didn't see this sooner. Your kindness and generosity in the midst of your own battles is an inspiration to us all.
    That being said, you gotta take care of you. There are so many people in crisis here, especially during this silly season. It will drain you. And it can trigger you. You haven't failed anyone. There is just a mass of hurting people here. Some, most, many, idk, are so wrapped up in their troubles they don't give support back when we need it.
    I am just a guilty as any, and I wanted you to know I do appreciate your support you've given me.
    Take care of yourself first, don't feel you have to respond to every one in crisis. Do good things for yourself.
    You are lovely, know that. :hug:
  10. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    (( (( ((Mo)) )) ))! I am so happy to see that you are still with us. PLEASE don't worry about hurting anyone else right now... you just take care of your sweet self. I really shouldn't have let my anxiety get the best of me! If you take anything away from this, I hope you recognize that we all care because who YOU are is vital, valuable, priceless and irreplaceable. Allow yourself to absorb all the love and support, but survive this for YOURSELF and no one else, because you deserve so much better than to leave this world in pain and suffering. I know... I'm such a hypocrite. But I've been the recipient of your caring and support, so I know that YOU know how hard it is to take our own advice and view ourselves the way our friends do. Thanks so much for checking back in! Again, know that I'm here for you! Sending hugs and friendship...T :console:
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Mo I am grateful beyond words for all the support you have given to me..
    all gratefully appreciated..

    You haven't offended me! ..
    I'm glad you reached out and told us you needed help

    ---------- Post added at 07:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:32 PM ----------

    Mo I am grateful beyond words for all the support you have given to me..
    all gratefully appreciated..

    You haven't offended me! ..
    I'm glad you reached out and told us you needed help

    perhaps others are having trouble posting like I am with the bugs in the new format..
    I keep getting 'errors'..as you can see :)
  12. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you Zasu, Texaskitty & IV - Very much.

    Your words are of comfort when I feel I have done wrong.

    Take care.