I am such a f@*&ing... I can't think of a work.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, May 14, 2010.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Recently, I have noticed that I am such a fucking.... I don't know perv? I don't know, however, I always seem to get depressed when female attention is Not returned to me. Today I went to another forum where I thought I would have a PM from a girl who is really nice and who I like. However, that PM was not there. I know that everyone has their own life. However, I just can't help but feel depressed when my PMs are not returned especially when it comes to females.

    It is not just PMs either when I try to talk to Y and Z. If they don't respond, whether it be phone or text, I get depressed and I don't know why. I just get really down, especially if an invitation is rejected or hell if I don't hammer down a date and time. I just get morbidly depressed.

    What is wrong with me how come this affects my mood so much? :bub: I just don't get it. I never used to be this way I never used to care for attention one way or another. I have a roommate who gives memories attention than I know what to do with. It pisses me off more than it feels nice. It is probably because it is a guy. I get sexually tense just looking at a girl... maybe that is it... I don't know. All I know is I hate it. How am I supposed to meet new women if I get like This whenever I get rejected or think I am being rejected :bub:
  2. minime

    minime Well-Known Member

    we all get that way somehow. it is loneliness. you are human and we all crave affection and attention. don't worry - you are not alone. there are lots of lonely people in this world...i think what you are feeling is normal. increase your social network online/offline so if some of your friends are busy, the others can be there for you :)

    anyways, we all get that way...everybody needs friendship and caring.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    The problem that I am having is it is only when it comes to females. I could careless about the guys in my life.

    I wish I could expand my social network. However, I am too scared to do that. I am just too much of a wuss. Plus I am hideous and no one wants to be around someone who is ugly.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    It's your self esteem. When your self esteem is at an all time low, things that seem trivial become so important, like the amount of time you spend focusing on girls and caring about what they think, whether or not they reply to PMs etc.
    I think what you're saying is you want to get back to that "I don't care either way" attitude and I agree, it's a much healthier attitude to have, being indifferent towards things for a while will save you a lot of heartache.

    I think the first thing you have to think about is how can I get myself some confidence/self esteem that doesn't involve having a girlfriend to fix that problem?

    I saw a post from someone on here basically saying if they had a girlfriend all their problems would be solved, and that's a sad sad way to see things because truth is... all of his problems would only just be beginning.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    That is the question, I have tried to answer it. I thought hey if I workout maybe I will feel better. Then I try for about a month and lose my motivation. Primarily due to exhaustion from lack of sleep.

    I also used to be good at DDR. So I think I could try to get my skill back. However, the prospect of rearranging my living room every time I want to play kills that thought.

    I just don't know what to do every time I think of something my depression kills my motivation. It really sucks, and it is not like "what is the point" thoughts. My body actually gets physically tired. It is weird, so I am at a lose. I want to be able to think I don't need a female. However, I Just struggle with the idea. How do I start thinking "it is their lose" when I know I am worthless....

    :bash: stupid 21st floor and having a window.
  6. minime

    minime Well-Known Member

    Linds is right, it is a self-esteem issue...

    Maybe do a little bit at a time. You say you enjoy DDR then start with that one thing that you enjoy.

    It is good that you go back and forth from thinking "it is their loss" to the other extreme...'still shows that you know you are a great human being! There is someone out there for you who will love you for who you are.
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    The problem is I want to think it is there lose... however when I do I get a headache or feel nauseous. Because I know it is not true.
  8. minime

    minime Well-Known Member

    well, you have to find somewhere in you to believe it is true. each life has great worth and that includes you. God does not create anything at random but with the greatest care and value.

    'sorry to sound like a mom...that is because i am a mom and i am old :p
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    It seems to be false wherever I go whatever I do. I go out to play DDR there is someone there who is better than me and happier than me. Those who are worse than me have what I want. Same goes for the gym... I go there and see plenty of people happier than I and better off than I. I wonder what I did to get left behind?
  10. minime

    minime Well-Known Member

    did you ever consider that they just "seem" happy?

    at my age, i have met a lot of people who have a public face of looking happy and together (i am guilty of this, too) but their lives are a complete mess. most of my friends/acquaintances think my life is great but there were many days that i was ready to kill myself. right now, i am doing okay but who knows how long this will last. most people are simply coping with life and yes, there are those who are in their own la la land, thinking life is super great. these are the self-absorbed and selfish people who could not care less for others. of course, their life is great...they are self-serving and suck the life out of everyone else.

    i think my cynicism is coming out again :p 'working on this positivity thing...
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    It is hard to be happy or feel confident when I am the only one who has nothing that I want. Whether it be skills or others. It is just hard. Especially since I am to scared to try and meet these people.
  12. doggytears

    doggytears Active Member

    Forgotten_Man, it's not just you. Most guys I know feel the same way when PMs or offline messages or SMSes go unreturned :)
    Much of what you said in your original post could well apply for me too.

    Some guys would choose to defend their dignity (or something of that sort) by ignoring
    the concerned female thereafter while others.... :) Well let's just say I've been through my fair share
    of agony over unreciprocated mails etc. It's all in the game :D
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know I guess I am just weak and have no self-esteem. I can't think if she doesn't show an interest then fuck her. I think if I don't chase it will be years before I get another chance. It sucks to be such a desperate loser like me. I wish I could okay the game And be mi dlessly happy doing it.
  14. doggytears

    doggytears Active Member

    I've had the same thought inside me on countless occasions :dry:
    Personally, it depends on where all of this happens.
    If it's on the Internet, there's plenty of fish to fry if ya ken what I mean :)
    I wouldn't lose sleep over one lost muse.
    If it's in real life.... well.... I'd hate to lose an opportunity over a bloated ego.
  15. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Online is so close to real life for me. I just don't know what think about my situations. :depressed:
  16. jabooty

    jabooty Banned Member

    i have actually been formulating what i am going to write you. i think i may be able to help you with your issues with females. unfortuantly i cant really write right now.

    but i will tell yo u this...for every no(no response, no call back, being ignored, etc) you get; your 1 closer to a yes!
  17. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @jabooty: Stupid phone and making me miss your post, sorry. Did you formulate what you wanted to say?