I mean I was riding the wave. Car has finally been repaired, avoided some pitfalls with that along the way...then all of a sudden without giving me a chance to react or work with me, the freaking gas company is going to shut off our gas service to our home. They wont let me make payment arrangements etc.
While that is stressful, I think it speaks to a bigger picture of how at the age of 44 years, I can not better provide for my family that a utility is turning off service to our home.
You know why, cause even though I have been off the bottle for 2 years, even though I have managed to take my meds for almost a solid year, I suck when it comes to living. I have never been able to land that perfect job..and when I did in the past it didnt last.
Why....cant I land that perfect job, bescause of mistakes I made in my youth that I cant recover from.
hence pathetic looser. Hence not worthy of living. Wasting space and air is what I seem to do best.
