I am suicidal now but barely keeping it together

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by akito38, Dec 19, 2013.

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  1. akito38

    akito38 Member

    I have been unable to work for over ten years and leeching off my parents. I applied for social security disability some time ago. I was recently denied because apparently I am able to work despite the fact that I can't even do phone support from my own home or even apply for a job.

    There is an appeals process however you have to go to a hearing and appear before a judge and a clerk recorder etc will be present. I am terrified of this I have no money to see a psychiatrist at all. I have been on meds and getting what care I can from physician.

    I am absolutely terrified of going to that hearing to point where I would rather kill my self. I am considering committing my self because I am trapped and feel I have no way out because of suicide.

    However I am afraid they will bill me and expect to pay a ton of money for this. If they try and do that I will not only kill my self but the capitalist pigs that profit from the hospital. I absolutely will not pay anything over $500 and if they try and take my shit I will kill anyone that fucking tries. I cannot find any free mental health centers and information is extremely vague about billing. I have no insurance or any form assistance either.

    For the poor is the only option suicide? please tell me if you were in a similar situation and billed a lot of money etc.
     
  2. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    i can only talk about my own situation, i was able to get social services for myself temporarily so i could get free medical so i would be able to attend mental health services. that might be your last resort, unless you can find help elsewhere. the SSI process can be a long one, BUT... if you have doctors on your side and understand your situation they can offer help in regards to you getting SSI. if you were able to receive benefits from SSI, would that improve your thoughts? i understand society is greedy and loves to steal from the poor and give to the rich and richer, while we wallow in pigsties and run down shacks... i am living that dream as i type now..
     
  3. akito38

    akito38 Member

    Yeah I would be better off because I could get better mental health care than just my GP. It would also reduce some of the financial burden from my parents and help with just surviving in general. I am 30 years old and both my parents are over 60 they will not live forever. Furthermore their days of being able to work are going to come to an end sooner than that. How do you think I would feel knowing my dad died of a heart attack because he had to keep working for my sake?

    As it is now I am backed into a corner and desperate. In truth I really would benefit staying in a mental hospital for awhile just to be evaluated better. (I am really scared of this but I am willing to try)

    Problem is no money and no health care like I said above. Its sick that this country or any country has investors profiting off the sick.
     
  4. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    trying to help yourself is a huge step in getting to where you want to be mentally. if you were to say hospitalized, that also could help your SSI case too, seeing how you were unstable and needed help. sometimes we must do the things we hate, in order to get to the "promise land" yea its a old cliche, but it does make sense. i hope and pray you can find the strength to keep your head above water and make the right moves to improve your situation. remember you can always come here to vent if need be, i think we all do. :)
     
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