I am the biggest idiot ever.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lucano, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    Poor stupid me still deeply in love with my ex fiance, she had told me that she wanted to have babies with me, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. But now it became of my knowledge that for the last two months she was with this guy and wants to have babies with him, a guy she doesn't knows. Ugh, how can I be so fucking stupid? So fucking blind? So fucking retarded. Fuck things. I wish I could be like other people, go out, find a girl and fuck her until I forget about her. I wish it was so easy for me. Fuck love, it has only hurt me. This fucking sucks, fucking betrayer, fucking cheater. She might say she is sorry. But no, she is not sorry. Yet.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry she is hurting you so deeply hun You are not stupid okay you were in love and beleived she loved you How could you know she was cheating You deserve so much more hun you do and you will find someone who cares ok you just have to give it time
     
  3. IDKs

    IDKs New Member

    Dont feel stupid. You arent alone. It happens to the best of us. You shouldn't turn into the monster that hurt you though. That won't solve anything. I know how you feel. I've been there...
     
  4. jamesonnk

    jamesonnk Member

    First of all, you are not an idiot. She is the idiot for cheating on someone who loves her so deeply. It's not easy to forget about someone you love. The truth is though, there isn't only one person worth loving. She was stupid and cheated on you and you didnt deserve that. It will take some time, but one day, you will find someone who will love you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. I wish the very best for you.
     
  5. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    But, I still love her. I am still in love with her and hurts so bad. I feel like an idiot, so worthless, it makes me wonder what kind of a man am I. I must be fucking horrible. I feel like no-one can love me, like I don't deserve it.
     
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Lucano, I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. It takes some time to grieve a loss like that - of course you still have feelings for her. Most people don't stop loving in one step. You are far from worthless! You seem to be a nice person - solid, real, and honest. You deserve a relationship with someone who cares and loves you as much as you care and love them.

    For now, just remember that it's hard to see things clearly when we're in the middle of an emotional situation like a break up. When the dust has settled, you will start finding your own good qualities again. :)
     
  7. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    It just feels like nothing I ever do is enough. She lied to me because she said I was enough, she said I was the best. But, I just feel like a pile of crap. If she left me for someone else, it means I am not good enough. I tried. I really tried so hard. She was my life, my world, my everything. There was not a day it went without spending time with her and now. I have no purpose, my days are so empty. I am so empty. I have nothing without her. I am the biggest idiot, ever. I'm so fucking pathetic.
     
  8. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for the double post. But I need to say this.

    Lo, I love you and I will always love you. The way our relationship ended does not change the fact that our 2 and a half years were amazing. I understand now that things inside you made you not apt to stay in this relationship and I understand that there were also things in me that made it not work in the end and like you once said, even if everyone else thought it didn't worked, it worked for us. You have a very special place in my heart, the biggest anyone could ever have and it will stay like that. I don't blame you as I don't blame myself. I can't keep blaming you or me or someone else for all this. It happened and I know now I have to move on. I know you do care about me and you want me to move on, it might be hard and most likely will take time, but I'll do my best to get up, and put my life back together. Thank you, for your love, for our time. I will always love you my heart. I forgive you.
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hugs to you
     
  10. Lucano

    Lucano Well-Known Member

    Thank you. This place and the people here have helped me so much. I appreciate it beyond words.