I Am Thinking Of Just Leaving NOW

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Jun 5, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    The stress of the parents, the car, the job, the divorce, has become way too much for me to handle.



    At this time, I am seriously considering walking out from work. Getting in my car, driving til it runs out of gas, and then walking until I find some wooded place, sitting down and just wait to die.



    Really.....even though I thought I had a handle on this thing....it's too fucking much!
     
  2. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    Bill! (((((((((((((((((((comforting hugs)))))))))))))))

    There has to be someting good! Look for the bright things! You're daughter! the carnival! Maybe just take the day off from work and take a break, but don't quit. you've come so far! You can contine. And try not to worry about your parents too much. I'm not sure what they are doing, but you are most important right now, so don't worry about them. Just think of the good things, and try not to think about the bad too much. (((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))
     
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    It won't always be like this. You won't always have so much on your plate.
    I know where you're at though. :hug:s :(
     
  4. damaged goods

    damaged goods Active Member

    What if you got in your car, drove to a wooded place, and just took in the peace and beauty of nature for awhile? Listen to the birds, kind of meditate, see if something can bring a smile to your face, if only for a minute...

    Sitting down and waiting to die would be a slow and painful process.
     
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest


    That's how I would deserve to die. Slow and painful. I deserve no less or no more.
     
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    No one deserves that. Not you or anyone else here! :hug:
     
  7. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    Sure you do, bill! You deserve so much more than that! You're such an awesome, sweet, kind, and caring person. You deserve so much more than that!
     
  8. KJAB

    KJAB Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey man, I see the point in all of what you said except the 'wait to die bit'. Are you sure you're getting enough 'space'. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! the job and all is hard. FUCK I KNOW THIS. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE a LOTTTTTTTTT of the time. Feeling you wanna walk out is so totally normal. Jesus I do it every 15minutes and hate myself for not being able to do it. HEY this is NOT about me but just to say you're not feeling anything you shouldn't be feeling if that makes any sense. Just, your post screams of "I NEED SPACE".
    I have a son called Bill.
    Please take care....
     
  9. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Nope, I don't believe you deserve slow and painful. Sorry.

    I do agree that sometimes just dropping the stuff that is helping to make things more stressful is the answer. Seriously. But with a job, think of the consequences. Can you get another? Do you have the money to support yourself until you do? Or some way of support?

    If so, I say go for it. Dump the job, take what you need (clothing, computer, etc), jump in the car and go. Starting over isn't always a bad thing like people say. Sure you still "take the stuff with you", but sometimes in a better/different environment the old stuff is easier to work with, or perhaps new opportunities will avail themselves.

    Otherwise, taking a day off and going into the woods to recouperate is also a really awesome idea.
     
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You deserve so much better than you even realize. You don't deserve to die, and you definitely don't deserve a slow, painful death. You have so many good qualities, ones that you might not even see.

    ((((((hugs))))))
     
  11. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Thanks everyone.

    But seriously..if I cant get the weight of the world off of my shoulders, I dont know what to do.

    There is just too much crap coming down, right now.
     
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Is there any way you can alleviate some of the stress? Even if you take one thing at a time, try to work on things slowly so that you don't have to deal with so much.

    Do you have any time off, where you can just take the day off and do whatever you want ... nothing stressful, maybe just go for a ride, enjoy nature, do things you WANT to do. Nothing that you HAVE to do. Because everyone deserves a break sometimes.
     
  13. damaged goods

    damaged goods Active Member

    It's so unfair that your parents are such a burden to you, at a time when you could use a little support yourself. But the last thing you deserve is a slow, painful death. If you weren't a caring, giving person you wouldn't be in so much turmoil.
     
  14. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    It's ok guys. A son should suffer and pay for the sins of his father.
     
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    No ... it shouldn't work that way.
     
  16. damaged goods

    damaged goods Active Member

    It shouldn't. You've already suffered living through them the first time around.
     
  17. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I'll be safe for the weekend.
     
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