I am tired of being afraid. Afraid that I will never find another job. Afraid that I will lose everything I have worked for. Afraid that I deserve to lose everything I worked for. Afraid something else will break. Like my tooth. Like my garage door. Like my computer which is misbehaving. And I need it desperately for my job search. I live alone. Don't have much of a support group. Most of the people I know are in need and seek support rather than provide it. I have to keep my mind occupied. When I don't, that is when the thoughts turn to suicide and the relief it would bring. Yet I know death will come soon enough on its own accord and I should not rush it. So far I remain here, and keep up with the struggle. But if one more thing goes wrong...... Thanks for reading.