I can't stand it anymore.. why must I be this way? Born a ****** and I had no choice for anything else. Born just so everyone can tell you "Just be yourslef. Uhh no, not like that." and judge you for everything outside the social norm. If I just was straight I wouldn't have to deal with hiding everything from my parents and the people in school.. I would've had a relationship already.. I could love.. I wouldn't be weird.. I wouldn't be this abomination, as my family preffers to call homosexuals. I hate it.. I hate it so much. I don't want to be this way.. I am I and I wish I weren't. Because I am mostly destroying myself. Blindly I walk up the gallow step by step without anyone forcing me. Death is not far away from me... I feel his cold hands resting on my shoulders just waiting to take me to the neverland. My family that has abused me enough in my childhood.. the bullies that have beaten my down.. who have thrown their knees against the stomach of mine.. who threw my unsensitive body on those edgy pillars.. who have jumped on my back several times.. who have blackmailed me.. who have put my school stuff under the shower so I had to buy everything again.. who have made me go to a psychiatrist just to waste my time.. whose hate has swallowed me whole like a snake and turned me into his kin. I am left like a snake.. I have no heart, my blood seems cold and my purpose of living is.. well.. unknown. Aimless and lost.. I hear no god anymore, I only hear the devil. I feel like only death can free me from the pain of my mere existence, for I am no one. Just an unimportant shade of this hell we call earth. I like to quote this lyrics from a song.. "I can't sleep at night... food has lost it's taste.. GOD I'M SO SICK OF THIS PLACE." P.S: I don't believe in god even if I may seem so... I just like to talk in metaphors.