I am tired of keeping up a Facade

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Melbel, Feb 17, 2012.

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  1. Melbel

    Melbel Member

    I don't think I can do this anymore! I just want out! I fantasize of just going to sleep and not waking up. The pain is just unbearable. I have nothing to live for and I am just a robot!! I want to just end it all tonight!! I am scared and so alone. My husband is abusive both physically and emotionally. I give up and believe now that I am worthless I like he tells me day on and day out I feel like such a failure. I am 42 and have no kids while all my friends do. I have no college education. I work as an assistant manager in a retail store and live paycheck to paycheck. Hell, if I die who would really give a damn? I carry a bottle of Vicodin with me at all time so when it gets too unbearble I can finish it off! I drink nightly or smoke some weed to dull the pain! I dream of slitting my wrists and bleeding out just to wake up and cry because it was just a dream!
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Melbel, may I ask about your husband? Why do you stay with him if he makes you feel like this?
     
  3. Melbel

    Melbel Member

    I can't due to financial reasons. I just have to learn to live with it. I couldn't leave because I have no where top go and I couldn't handle the guilt I would feel.
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Why would you feel guilt for leaving an abusive partner?
    There are shelters to help people in your position, would you consider that?
     
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