I am tired of living

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, Feb 7, 2012.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I keep trying not to post because I don't want to take away from anyone else's hurt, but this is too much. If I had money, I would deal with this with alcohol, but I don't. I have so much going on right now....there's painful rejections that I can't get over and a family that is really hard to deal with. I feel so much pressure to put on a facade and not cut myself or drink to deal with all this crap and I can't take it anymore. I have to find a way to end it all without being afraid...because the pain of living is too overwhelming.
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi sadheart.. you got any professional psych help atm??? if yes i think you need to talk to them now.. if none yet on your side , think you need to seriously think about getting someone.. in the meantime perhaps a call to a crisis line just to have someone to talk to earnestly about what is going for you now.. hope you able to keep from cutting and the drinking.. that is a temporary thing that is very easy to seriously hurt and end up with real harm to yourself.. good luck in finding some help now.. tc, Jim
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I don't know about you, but let me give you an idea of "the help" that's available around here. you go to some two bit half assed mental health center. their primary idea of helping you isn't understanding what is wrong, but putting you on a shitload of pills. i saw a lady who by her own admission was on a ton of pills and it didn't do squat. now, she's stuck in a system full of lazy professionals who will never truly help her because all they do is want to do is quick fix everything. i was in that system and never again.

    oh and the other help comes in the form of being locked up...because what helps emotional pain than having human rights like freedom taken away from you, right?

    this is my fault anyway,...i shouldn't have opened up about my pain.
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    so you do not want to get snowed away by pills... can understand that but still think you need to talk to a professional about yourself.. couple of times when i real crisis situat\ions i talked to therapist and it saved my lfie .. they listened, carefully gave their responses and got me to a much better place. you are right saying i am going to kill myself now.. rite fucking now is going to get you on a locked ward.. so unless you are truly in that bad of shape, a little restrait and thought first and just try to get some real help.. ok you going to dismiss thereapy also i am sure.. you get out of therapy what you put in together with a compantent professional..

    i found it a great relief to finally say what was ruminating around in my twisted head with someoen who was actually listening and cared very much also.. it saved my life and i ended up in a very much better position.. requires some action and work for sure..

    as far as you opening up here in this thread, putting in print for others to read and then they try to help you , i feel that is good .. keep talking and lettting it out here.. later, Jim
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, Sadhart. I wish you had good help available. Sometimes we need to try several therapists/counsellors before we find one that "clicks" with us. Many professionals do suggest meds. I think the strategy is supposed to help stabilize the person so that talk therapy in combination with the meds works faster and better.

    None of that seems to address your issues, though. You are in pain right now. What is going on? PM me if you don't want to share publicly, but want to let off some steam. Thinking of you.
  6. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Yeah...I know. it's just finding the right therapist that is affordable is hard. I get so tired of a place that talks about being understaffed and underpaid as an excuse for inadequate service like the local one in my area is. i wish though that my family was understanding especially when they hurt me, but they're too pig headed and selfish to see their own errors, but expect me to change. well i do change and work on myself while they keep making the same excuses for their wrongs. i'm just tired of hurting by them and others and being unappreciated.
  7. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Here's some non-traditional perspective...

    It's from this book "The Art of Dying" by Osho. I'm reading it right now myself, about halfway done.
    Free download here..... http://oshoworld.com/e-books/search.asp?pdf_id=006_The_Art_of_Dying.pdf&download=Yes
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