I keep trying not to post because I don't want to take away from anyone else's hurt, but this is too much. If I had money, I would deal with this with alcohol, but I don't. I have so much going on right now....there's painful rejections that I can't get over and a family that is really hard to deal with. I feel so much pressure to put on a facade and not cut myself or drink to deal with all this crap and I can't take it anymore. I have to find a way to end it all without being afraid...because the pain of living is too overwhelming.