I am ugly, unimportant, and insignificant.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ghetofabgurl89, Jun 12, 2008.

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  1. I've been wandering this site for a few days, too scared to post for fear of no one reading, but I just realized it doesn't matter anymore.

    Where do I begin? I'll make this short and to the point.

    All my life, my father has abused me. Psychologically, physically, emotionally, verbally, you name it. His intentions are well meaning, but his methods are harsh and I've been so alone in coping with the repercussions of feelins unloved.

    My friends have a pattern of dropping me. In 10th grade I lost my best friend in the whole world. She just stopped talking to me and after a short period, once I worked up the courage to reason with her, she basically told me I was a piece of shit. Recently, the new best friend I made, in the years following the initial dumping, has stopped talking to me. I call and she screens. When she does pick up she sounds...tired...and ultimately gives me the impression that she does not want to talk to me anymore. For some reason this hurts worse than the first...

    In 10th grade, the same year I felt I lost everything, my best male friend asked me out and we were together for almost three years. He was "Master" and I was "pet". After attempting to rape me, he moved away and in spite of all that he's done to me I miss him terribly. The boyfriend I made in 12th grade reminded me of "Master" in a way, but as it turns out he was rebounding...and the whiplash has finally hit me. We've broken up as well.

    This summer, before I go to college in the fall I am not allowed out for any reason. I'm trying to find a job to get out of this atmosphere of contempt towards me, but it's like stepping off the stovetop into the boiling pot of water.

    Ultimately, everything has built up to me just..not wanting to live anymore. I feel so alone, and people have been supporting and caring for me, but my self esteem is so ravaged that it feels hopeless I'll ever recover. I don't need advice, or even sympathy. We're all here for one reason or another. I just thought it was about time I posted something.

    Thank you for your time. You all have my condolances.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2008
  2. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    Hey welcome to SF. First of all let me say that you are not alone many of us here feel like life is pointless and are on the verge of giving up. Just stay strong during this summer it will go by fast I promise. Then you can be on your own in college where you will meet a whole new bunch of friends and be out of that house. Good luck I hope you feel better stay strong.
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    You are not insignificant or unimportant. You are special just like the rest of us, and the fact that you're hear shows that you want to get better.
    Stay strong and like Mangos said, this summer will go by fast.
    Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.
  4. woundedgirl

    woundedgirl Member

    Firstly :hug: You will get through this. You've been through so much already that it can only get better. You need to get away after the summer and build new friendships and have space from your da. Remember that some people just do not understand how you feel and do pull away but it's not cause they don't like you or believe your insignificant it's cause they don't know how to handle it but there are people out there who do. Including all of us !! Feel free to PM me. We have parental issues in common x
  5. underthestars

    underthestars Active Member

    Yes we are all here for one reason or another but we're also here to support each other. Dont be afraid to open up here,theres always at least one person who understands.

    Stay strong,the summer will go by fast...pm me if you ever need to talk:)
  6. :eek:hmy:

    I'm overwhelmed by all of your generous words of support.

    I thank you for taking the time to respond. I'm trying. Lord knows, but it helps to have people who relate to me push me forward as well.

    If I can help any of you in any way by being there for you in any way, please let me know.
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