everyone laughs at me. i really mean everyone. my parents hardly find anything positive abt me. today i got shitloads of abuse. on and on and on and on with the vile criticism. i have NO friends at the age of 22. Not even 1 and I try to avoid everyone and act like a freak purposely so that no one comes close to me. The only friends i have is people on this site because many people here empathize with me. i am so sick. guess somethinh was wrong with my uprbringing. i have always been a coward even though i fantasize about being a hero. i want to step out of my house but so many rumors are spreading about me that i cant show my face to anyone. i have a bachelors degree and going for masters in computer science but i cant function in a company. whats the point in stacking degrees when you never even evolved beyond an animal's level. i got admits from great schools like university of southern california, drexel, virginia tech yet i am going to an average grad school like villanova (no kidding here). i somehow convinced my parents. the only reason i am going there is because i found out through myspace that some of my bullies and some others from my city go to the those universities. isnt this pathetic that i do based on what others think of me and not what i want. what is the point in living if i cant even live according to my terms. i really think my death is nearing. i wont live for long. i dont want to. atleast if i die within 2-3 months , then all the insurance money will go to my parents which is good since i wasted a lot of their money. i just need a very easy and painless method. getting a disease would be the best but i hope i dont get treated for it as that would incur more cost.