I don't understand how I've become this useless. I can never do anything right. Today I had to dish up the biggest lie I've ever had to tell, and I feel so utterly bad about it. It was too my mum. I had to lie, my parents would have killed me had I told the truth, it wasn't about drugs or anything of the usual stuff you have to lie about, just getting the dates wrong, forgetting something important. But I had to lie. I feel so bad, the guilt is killing me. I ruined an oppertunity. And now I have to keep up this lie, I don't know if I can do it. If I had a <mod edit: methods>, I would have killed myself now. I am sick of being this useless, I am sick of having to lie to those close to me. I am hiding my depression from everyone, no one knows. I need help, but I can't find it anywhere. I'm trying to be strong. It's about to run over. If they find out I lied, they'll never forgive me, I don't know if I can forgive myself either. I'd have to move somewhere else, start another life, alone. I'll never be able to do that. I just want to die, but I don't know how to.