Ive been depressed on and off for about 12 years. I used to self medicate with alcohol but got too sick to drink anymore and managed to stop mostly. When I drank it was still to extreme but as long as I kept alcohol out the house I would be ok. Recently my depression is the worst I can ever remember it being. I've started drinking again as I can't cope. I don't want to take drugs as I don't want to feel numb. Are there more to drugs now then just numbing all your moods? And I think I want to talk to someone but my doctor ignores me when I say I'm depressed (I dont want to say I'm suicidal as I get bad enough attitude from just being depressed) Can I talk to a professional without being sent from my GP? I dont want to become reliant on alcohol again.