I am very sorry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chooselife, Nov 7, 2009.

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  1. chooselife

    chooselife Well-Known Member

    To those who misunderstood me and to those who took offense to my previous post. It is because I have suffered so painfully throughout my life that I get irked when I hear of people who don't want to go that extra mile to help themselves. I am NOT referring to everybody here.

    Believe it or not I care for each and every person on this forum because I too have felt pain so intense that I wanted to die. In my heart of hearts I want these people to be rid of their pain.

    My harshness came from passion. A passion to maybe open someones eyes on here, maybe just one, and think "Yeah I should change my life, or I should get help" Not everyone on here have gone that extra mile because I have spoken with some. No, I do not walk in other people's shoes and I do not know their pain, but I have been to the depths of hell many times. I couldn't take anymore either. I am only talking to those people who can make that change and haven't tried it yet, rather than give up.

    From MY suffering I know things can get better. So like I said even if just ONE person thinks twice and adopts that change, It has been worthwhile.

    To those who were eager to criticize me, I am sorry. I have molly coddled, and I do still open my heart to those who need to talk. I do actually have some valid things to say when people ask me for advice, because I have been there and I can relate to mental illness. Some of your comments truly hurt me because my intentions are nothing but good.

    So, I apologize for those I upset from my harshness. I come from a good place, and certainly not to judge people.
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Hi Chooselife.
    I read your post and on the one hand I felt the same way, I could COMPLETELY understand where you were coming from. But empathy constantly tells me not to say that to people because unfortunately, everybody is different. We all deal with pain and suffering in different ways and a wise person once told me "you can have the exact same upbringing as your sibling and have gone through all of the same shit but you will both come out the other side with different scars".

    And that is very true. My brother and I are prime examples of that. We have gone through and go through the exact same thing, yet he is so strong and so determined and so forthright and here I am suffering and on a suicide forum threatening to take my life.

    Strength is so SO hard to find and when you are feeling at a loss and at your wits end, it's almost impossible to know where to get any from, and I genuinely do empathise with people who say they can't find it, they can't do it and they don't know how to. But frustration sends those of us who are fighting and trying hard over the edge and we want to help others find their fight also.

    So I don't think you did anything wrong as such, but I do think it was just the wording of the post. You have to remember you are dealing with sensitive people on here and not everybody is going to find that fight, a lot of people ARE going to give up, and you've gotta know how to handle that and be prepared for that also.

    Anyway, lastly I do I wanna say thank you personally, because reading what you wrote didn't trigger me, it actually made me feel stronger and I want to fight harder, so thank you for what you said.
  3. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Thanks for saying all this, chooselife. I didn't get a chance to respond to the other thread before it got locked, but I did feel a little put off by it initially. I know you didn't mean ill by any of it. :hugtackles:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know to you just wanted to help that is why you posted some will understand the post and will try harder and others just too weak to thanks for caring
  5. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey chooselife,

    Thanx for your apology. As I said in my post, I didn't believe you meant to offend. If some of my comments hurt you, then I truly am sorry as well. But some of your comments hurt me too. Fortunately I forgive and forget very easily - I think its a curse really :rolleyes: . So let's put it behind us, and move on.

    Again, I hope you do decide to stay on.

    All the best!

  6. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Why are you effectively reopening a thread that the mods have closed? And I thought you said you were leaving. Nothing has changed here and yet after your vicious thread you stay to continue to justify it. Why?
  7. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    My life is wrecked stay in the light
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I appreciate your apology also anyone who say's sorry has to be commended upon I sincerely say,but if my comments offended you I'm sorry IMO they were justified.yes your intentions were good and meant well,but you also offended and hurt alot of people who are in such difficult situations and I expected better from someone who has had that sad experience.I'd rather leave it at that to be honest,my say is final on this need to have a voice at times sorry.
  9. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

  10. chooselife

    chooselife Well-Known Member

    God you're so mean. I am gone!
  11. chooselife

    chooselife Well-Known Member

    Please close this thread. To those who accepted my apology for trying to do good but being a little harsh, thank you. For those who were mean to me, oh well.

  12. whiskeylullaby

    whiskeylullaby Well-Known Member

    well really, what did you expect from a thread like this? something that basically continues another thread that was already closed because it was inflammatory... i mean, i'm all for free speech and saying what is on your mind, but when it comes to the point where it is harmful to others i take issue.
  13. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I accepted it and also gave my fair piece in respect and protection of other's enough said,i'll leave it at that now.Hopefully in future you will also reconsider what you say thankyou enough on this issue for me now.
  14. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Wait, if you're leaving, then why do you care if the thread gets closed?

    And why would you care anyway? If you don't like it, just ignore it and move on. :dry:
  15. chooselife

    chooselife Well-Known Member

    That's just it. I don't care anymore. Yesterday I did, this morning I did, but not now.
  16. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    If you mean that you don't care what you say (which I hope you don't), then you will be more of a hinderance to this site than a help. If you mean you don't care about life, then you are not alone, many people here would feel the same way. The thing is, you should care, because life is valuable and beautiful no matter what has happened to you. And yes, I have read your 2 recent threads and know what you've been through. It sounds rough, but you survived it, and you can survive again. You will always have something to live for.

    If you don't mean either, I'll just shut up and be embarrassed.
  17. rocknrollsuicide

    rocknrollsuicide Well-Known Member

    I did not feel offended in the slightest by Chooselife previous thread (others were not offended at all) so I don't see the point of some of the replies here making Chooselife to leave for good.
    This person has apologized, please leave Chooselife alone now.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i guess that was one post i failed to read. i just finished reading it.
    i think every ones response to that other post was justified. i also think it takes a lot for someone to realize and admitt when they have WRONGED.

    i believe we the ppl being of human status tend to yes ... be somewhat judgmental at times. we sometimes see others issues as so petty when we believe we have REAL issues that are causing the decline in our mental state.
    we wonder how ppl can snap because of loss of relationships or loss of jobs.
    the issues that ppl contemplate suicide over varies from person to person.
    i will be honest. i cant understand why some ppl would commit suicide over the loss of a girl friend or boy friend. but with that said ... im not them.

    they may think the reasons i attempted it, sounds stupid.
    its very true, no one can really understand the mindset of being suicidal unless you have lived it.

    i think, even though your words were harsh ... uh huh ... i think sometimes we get into a mindset where we simply dont want to hear all the horror stories and the FACTS OF LIFE as they are put in front of us.
    you said what you said. it pissed some ppl off. you apologized. some ppl are still pissed.
    so you see ... everyone is effected differently. i would put it down as improperly speaking your mind ... in the wrong place. even though everyone gets somewhat wordy or mouthy at times. its how we say it or write it that makes the difference. personally ... i chalk it down to having a bad day.
    the replies you got apparently made you think abit about what you wrote.
    i would simply continue to write ... if you feel it helps you, but choose your words in a way that can bring out your point and still have respect for your fellow posters.

    for me .. no harm done.
  19. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    What you wrote hurt people maybe because it digs deep and it's like having a real go at them,I obviously don't think you intended to hurt people and it was a clear error.yes you do have to walk on eggshellz with people who are in such fragile states,I see where you were coming across with what you wrote,sadly that type of message can offend so easily.It doesn't matter though,you aplogized i'm not sitting here and going to keep crucifying you for that because you don't deserve that at all:smile:.
  20. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I just read your other thread and personally i can see that you wer trying to do good. I personally didnt see it as being harsh or hostile. I thought it was somewhat motivating 'never give up'

    I believe that we are al dealt a hand of cards, just because your hand looks like shit to start off with doesnt mean you should give up the game cause you might have a winning hand in the middle or towards the end of the game. :)

    Dont leave please.

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