I know I won't probably suicide tomorrow so I don't think suicide sub-forum is for me. I post here because I just feel so unhappy. It's not because of one single serious thing that happens to me and then I post here. I have been living a very unhappy life for many years.... I don't try to write everything here to bore the people. I try to outline my current situation as neat as possible. I am 30 and I have been unemployed for three years. I didn't even send out ONE application letter or resume over the past three years and I don't even look at the recruitment website. I have lost my confidence totally. I sleep all day and surf around the internet all day. I am a ''not-young'' adult living with my dad, I don't pay them rents or anything so I can still 'survive' today. I have graduated for 8 years but I have only worked for two years, by simple math you can know I have stayed at home for many years. I don't even have ONE friend, NO, not at all. I have left them (or they have left me) because I just cannot get along with anyone. I often stop myself from reading TV news, I don't want to keep up with the time, I am like living in the past. I had a lot of problems with a lot of people. I often try to keep myself away from facebook, but I sometimes still look at the facebook of my old ''friends'' or ''colleague'' When I see that they are living a very wonderful life - great job, great marriage, great car, traveling, a lot of things, but at the same time, I am at the end of other side of a computer, I have nothing. No job, no marriage, no car, no money to travel, not even a friend to talk to. For many years, I always eat alone.... I feel so bad, I feel so depressed, especially I am not at a young age anymore, yes, I am not old, but I am not young anymore, I can't start everything again. After all, the worst thing is - I don't know how to deal with my life and my emotion.. I can be very sensitive and I can be very depressed immediately, and then think about what I should do next to make it better, but I can be very forgetful as well , a couple of days later, I could become happy again and forget everything.... when something bad happens to me again, I become unhappy again very quickly, and very regretful about what I have done or what I have NOT done.. I hate myself. I hate that I am still living like a kid, I don't grow up.