I am what they say I am.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hache, Nov 15, 2012.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I am a sponger.

    I don't get out of bed til 2 in the afternoon.

    I just watch TV all day.

    I am Britains work shy.

    I do think I have a right to a particular job.

    And they say people like me will say they can't do it, that they don't want to. That's me.

    And then they say people like me come out with crap like "you don't understand." That's me.

    There isn't even an ounce of fight inside me. They think I should be fighting and that I'm a lazy loser because I don't.

    I'm broken, but that isnt an excuse that will wash.

    I'm mentally subjugated and starving.

    But because others who "had it tough" once made it I'm supposed to be some warrior.

    I am the cancer of this country. That is what all the newspapers and politicians will tell you.

    I can't even beg for help, I can't claim to be misunderstood, it won't wash.

    I'm alone, I'm depressed, defeated, deflated, militant motivational techniques are worthless.

    Maybe in suicide martyrdom can be formed, bring awareness to the fact that the worthless nature of our lives has led us to this point. I know what's going on and I know I am ill.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad to see you back :smile:

    And that post sounds like you had an Atos medical and got shat on from a great height. :mad:
    My son had two of those with one of the interviewers being the most supercilious bastard it has ever been my misfortune to meet!

    First things first, are you receiving any treatment, you are obviously severly depressed.
    If not, get your doctor to wake up and smell the desperation!

    You sound so much like how my son was a few months back and it's heartbreaking to watch, knowing time is marching on and nothing changes, except things did change :smile:
    We have a good doctor, he immediately put my son on a course of anti-depressants; they didn't work, so he changed them for another brand.
    6 weeks later, son happier, less moody, but still stuck with the "I am unemployable".
    Nagged Seetech to death until they got him a work placement.
    Work placement ended after a month, the firm asked him to come work for them.
    Now happily working and for the first time in ten years, seeing a future.

  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Those that don't understand hun have not suffered as we do. they are so ignorant to what depression truly is. I am sorry you don't have the support hun but just know we do understand ok and that you are not alone we are all here to help you hugs
  4. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member

    that is a list i read through... some of it i didnt understand and i am sorry i dont know what "Britian work shy" is

    i believe in you and that you can be sane and happy cause i have seen things change and your willingness... we didnt know you would suddenly go to university and no matter how hard you went ahead and finished your schooling... proof you are not unwilling to do what it takes just to finish what you start.. you can work if there is work and you always have worked at something since i met you before university you had other jobs that were not what you were going to do but provided for you when they could

    if you will look at the past and place it in the future for you things have changed and that means for the better

    i dont think or want you to prove any point to anyone person or idea with harming yourself in any way.... and that i did read

    meaning i hope you feel better soon and you continue to write anything to me here or us here in forum
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you hun do what it takes to get you stronger to get you to feel better to a place where you can see you are good hun you are special Please hun keep talking to us ok
    Keep venting here You are stronger then you think you are hun hugs
  6. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone.

    I don't really have any right to question others interpretation, those I know or don't, because I haven't reached out, I haven't had help and I am incapable of asking, do not know how or where. It's a trap, you become too depressed to seek the help to end depression.

    I don't blame others, but I don't agree with that they think.
  7. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member


    when you come here and you write

    its just part of what happens here at forum... it give you a chance to show who you really are and how much you really work at all of the things going

    i place more emphasis here at the forum at the moment for you since it is a safe way to reach out... and let out

    small starts are good so.....

    you are asking for help and at least here people understand you want more help then you have at the moment... but you do have here with friendly people

    i hope you feel more like writing soon
    best friends