• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

I am worthless

Status
Not open for further replies.

Meden

Active Member
#1
I really want to kill myself because I don't see a point in living like this. I am a burden and a leech to everyone around me. I am lazy and utterly useless. I probably wouldn't be able to live on my own or work or anything else. I'm a burden and I will be a burden for the rest of my life to everyone who cares about me. I think people call someone like me a manchild. I fucked up, and I can't change that. The best thing I can do is die but the thing is, I would hurt my friends and my family a lot and I don't want that. I don't want to traumatize them for the rest of their lives but I can't see me living on either. I wish people would stop caring that would make it so much easier. For them and for me.
 
#2
Sorry that you're feeling this way and going through this
I probably wouldn't be able to live on my own or work or anything else
Maybe you would though. Do you want suggestions about how you might be able to work or live on your own?
I think people call someone like me a manchild
Please be gentle with yourself. I think that's a really harsh and unfair evaluation.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
i'm sorry that things are so bad for you right now @Meden . things can turn around if you give it time and really try to change. i made so many bad mistakes at your age it isn't funny, but i learned from them and moved on. people with challenges can have a pretty good life. it's really up to you where to go from here. ask for help if that will help you move forward. as long as you don't quit you can get better...mike...*hug
 

Meden

Active Member
#4
Sorry that you're feeling this way and going through this

Maybe you would though. Do you want suggestions about how you might be able to work or live on your own?

Please be gentle with yourself. I think that's a really harsh and unfair evaluation.
To be honest, I would love some suggestions on how to work and live on my own, I just think that it's too late for me. I see myself as an embarrassment, I know it sounds harsh but I am really embarrassed by myself and very disappointed.
 

Meden

Active Member
#5
i'm sorry that things are so bad for you right now @Meden . things can turn around if you give it time and really try to change. i made so many bad mistakes at your age it isn't funny, but i learned from them and moved on. people with challenges can have a pretty good life. it's really up to you where to go from here. ask for help if that will help you move forward. as long as you don't quit you can get better...mike...*hug
Thank you for the encouragement and the kind words, it's great to hear that it got better for you. Although I feel pretty hopeless right now I'll try to remind myself of that.
 
#6
To be honest, I would love some suggestions on how to work and live on my own
There are probably some resources to help people with disabilities find work or get training, and you may qualify for them. I think you've said in other posts that you are from Germany...I don't know to find services there offhand, but they probably do exist, and I can try to help you locate them if you can't find them.

I just think that it's too late for me
I don't think it's too late at all
 
#8
It also sounds like getting some treatment could help a lot. I think you talked a little about that elsewhere, and of course, there are some obstacles to getting that at the moment
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#9
To be honest, I would love some suggestions on how to work and live on my own, I just think that it's too late for me. I see myself as an embarrassment, I know it sounds harsh but I am really embarrassed by myself and very disappointed.
keep trying. look for work, i'm sorry but i had to chuckle at this one. you are 20 you have plenty of time. you are not an embarrasment. you are just getting started. if you are 30 sitting on moms couch and leaching off your parents then yes. keep trying to get a job or career traing or advice. you will look back on this time and wonder why you were so upset. you will be ok trust me. if you were a leach you wouldn't care. and don't be too pridefull to ask parents or other relatives for advice. i have had kids come home for a bit in their early 20s to early 30s to get things straightened out. i hope you find a good and joyful path in life..mike...*hug
 

Meden

Active Member
#10
There are probably some resources to help people with disabilities find work or get training, and you may qualify for them. I think you've said in other posts that you are from Germany...I don't know to find services there offhand, but they probably do exist, and I can try to help you locate them if you can't find them.


I don't think it's too late at all
I don't know if I qualify for that but I'll try looking for some information. If I need help I'll ask you, thanks a lot ^^


It also sounds like getting some treatment could help a lot. I think you talked a little about that elsewhere, and of course, there are some obstacles to getting that at the moment
I certainly will look for treatment, when all this is somewhat over, that'll certainly help me.
 

Meden

Active Member
#11
keep trying. look for work, i'm sorry but i had to chuckle at this one. you are 20 you have plenty of time. you are not an embarrasment. you are just getting started. if you are 30 sitting on moms couch and leaching off your parents then yes. keep trying to get a job or career traing or advice. you will look back on this time and wonder why you were so upset. you will be ok trust me. if you were a leach you wouldn't care. and don't be too pridefull to ask parents or other relatives for advice. i have had kids come home for a bit in their early 20s to early 30s to get things straightened out. i hope you find a good and joyful path in life..mike...*hug
I know it sounds silly when you consider that I'm only 20. It's just that my parents expect me to be kind of independent with 20 and until now I have only disappointed them. A lot of my friends who are my age or even younger are better than me in that regard, so that's not helping either. Have lots of problems with university right now cause of my laziness and that kinda tipped me over I guess.
But you really did help me to get some pressure off of me, thank you for that :)
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#13
i have one more question sorry. have you been checked for add or adhd. one of my sons almost lost his promotion because he couldn't concentrate and had no motivation. he got tested and they found out he had adhd. with proper meds he was a different man. he is full of energy and concentrates easily now. just a thought. and i didn't mean it was silly but we all go through this to some degree. you have to do your best and if it doesn't work out try something else. what i really meant is it's important to you now but 30 or 40 years from now you'll wonder why it bothered you so much. you will get through this...mike....*hug*shake
 

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
#14
I feel like you too at times but they come and go over the years and it can feel like it's always been bad but that's just because you forget all the small moments you were happy. Try to remember them little happy moments. I don't think your a burden. I'm 26 and I live with my parents cause I'm not strong enough to live alone but they enjoy the company. Because I study and only have a part time job they love helping me out. I'm sure your parents feel the same way. Plus I heard you study at university too, that's something to be proud of. Sure you need help now but you have the rest of your life to show the people you care about the same support.
 

Meden

Active Member
#15
i have one more question sorry. have you been checked for add or adhd. one of my sons almost lost his promotion because he couldn't concentrate and had no motivation. he got tested and they found out he had adhd. with proper meds he was a different man. he is full of energy and concentrates easily now. just a thought. and i didn't mean it was silly but we all go through this to some degree. you have to do your best and if it doesn't work out try something else. what i really meant is it's important to you now but 30 or 40 years from now you'll wonder why it bothered you so much. you will get through this...mike....*hug*shake
No I haven't been checked, it might be worth a try, haven't thought about that one.
Yeah I understand what you mean now, I hope that you're right, and everything will be ok as the years pass
 

Meden

Active Member
#16
I do study but I struggle a lot and my parents certainly aren't happy about that one. They have said more than once that they aren't happy with how I am now and I can understand them.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#17
You don't sound so bad to me. Ok, you're living at home with your parents - so are a LOT of 20 year olds (my own kid included) - that doesn't make you a leech. It's the way things are at the moment. Very few people have enough money/income to live on their own at that age. You also said that you're struggling with your studies - again, a common problem. I don't know anyone that has studied that hasn't gone through times of struggle. The main thing is that you're trying. You're out there, studying - trying to do something with your life. You're not just sitting at home refusing to try and get a job or find a course to study. You're trying. That counts for something.
 
#18
Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling suicidal; suicidal thoughts can be very scary and confusing. I can relate to feeling unwanted and like a burden. As Wispiwill said above I don't think your monetary situation is bad for your age and, of course, it is good that you are persevering. I hope things can get better for you. Sending hugs *hug10.

p.s. I love Bojack Horseman.
 

Paisley

* * *
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#19
I do study but I struggle a lot and my parents certainly aren't happy about that one. They have said more than once that they aren't happy with how I am now and I can understand them.
If you're getting that sort of message from your parents, it's understandable to feel bad over it. But I don't feel that they're being fair to you. Studying at all is an accomplishment to be proud of.

Just do your best. That's all anyone can do.
 

Meden

Active Member
#20
You don't sound so bad to me. Ok, you're living at home with your parents - so are a LOT of 20 year olds (my own kid included) - that doesn't make you a leech. It's the way things are at the moment. Very few people have enough money/income to live on their own at that age. You also said that you're struggling with your studies - again, a common problem. I don't know anyone that has studied that hasn't gone through times of struggle. The main thing is that you're trying. You're out there, studying - trying to do something with your life. You're not just sitting at home refusing to try and get a job or find a course to study. You're trying. That counts for something.
You're right, it really is common and I know lots of people who struggle with their studies as I do. I just feel so incredibly useless to my parents. Especially since I'm not self-sufficient enough, I'm no good with tools and I have much to learn when it comes to managing the household, that's something they always criticize. But I'll keep trying, so I don't stand still.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$255.00
Goal
$255.00
Top