I really want to kill myself because I don't see a point in living like this. I am a burden and a leech to everyone around me. I am lazy and utterly useless. I probably wouldn't be able to live on my own or work or anything else. I'm a burden and I will be a burden for the rest of my life to everyone who cares about me. I think people call someone like me a manchild. I fucked up, and I can't change that. The best thing I can do is die but the thing is, I would hurt my friends and my family a lot and I don't want that. I don't want to traumatize them for the rest of their lives but I can't see me living on either. I wish people would stop caring that would make it so much easier. For them and for me.