I am worthless

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Iain, Dec 16, 2011.

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  1. Iain

    Iain Well-Known Member

    She was here today. Came to give the kids a Christmas present. Spent a whole 30 minutes with our children. Mind you they havent seen her for about a month. I hate her and I hate what she has done to me and the kids. Everytime I think of what has happened, I just cry. When I did attempt to kill myself, she gloated. Thought it was funny that I spent 2 weeks in a psych ward. I will never trust another human being as long as I live. And I pray that I wont live too much longer. Every night I pray to die in my sleep. I hate her and what she has done to me.
     
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    you aren't worthless. it sounds like you do a lot with your children and you must mean an awful lot to them. please try and get some support for yourself and keep talking. have you seen your doctor at all? im sorry this has happened to you
     
  3. Tealc

    Tealc Banned Member

    i feel your pain Iain, most if not all of my problems are results of relationships, one ruined me financially which i struggle to deal with and the last ruined me emotionally and i have to see her each day too.
    i know what it feels like to hate and to hate myself, to feel all this is my fault, that i was blind or stupid enough to trust, then i done it again.

    but Iain, you have your kids to think of and from what you have said they only have you as a permanent feature in their lives, for this you are not a failure, the fault lies with her, you have been there for the kids and they know that.

    be strong
     
  4. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You aren't worthless. You love your children and care for them, a worthless person wouldn't do that.

    It sounds like you are really suffering in the aftermath of this break-up. Have you considered counseling to help you process what has hppened and to get you feeling better?

    Keep posting and let us know how you are, there are caring people here.
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You aren't worthless at all hun. I agree with texaskitty that it sounds like you are suffering badly from the breakup, which counselling can help you through it. I am guessing this is the mother of your children who sounds like she is being a bad mum. If you died, what would happen to your children?? They would be devastatwd. Don't let one woman destroy your life because she sounds like she is totally not worth it.
     
  6. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry you're suffering, Iain. :( Your ex sounds like a very selfish and cold person, whose actions and attitude probably mask a great deal of her own insecurity. I'm no expert, but is it possible that she is trying to knock you down so that she doesn't feel so small and damaged. If she has any heart at all, she must secretly feel awful for neglecting your kids while you pick up the slack. I know that it's so much easier said than done (believe me, I find it so difficult to take my own advice), but in time you will find ways to not see yourself through her cracked and warped lens. You ARE there for your kids, and that is just about the most important thing anyone can ever do. I agree, councelling/therapy can really help you manage your pain and grief, and help you survive so that you can be there for your kids and yourself. I'm so glad you've reached out to us Iain. Please count me among your many friends here who truly cares and wants you to survive. Sending hugs and friendship... T :console:
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just wanted to echo what the others have said. You aren't worthless. You're there for your kids, and they need you. You're worth so much to them. Please consider getting some help. :hug: And keep posting here. There are people here who care about you and want to be there for you.
     
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I know what it's like to pray each night to die Iain...I've done it for years but it's not working for me..
    I hope for your sake and your childrens it doesn't work for you either and you will get through the pain and grief you are suffering and
    come out the other side..

    the very fact that she gloated shows what sort of person she is and no wonder you feel the way you do..
    she's definately not worth you losing your life over..
    and you are certainly not worthless!

    it's good that you're reaching out for support..
    are you staying in touch with your doctor about how you're feeling?

    :hug:
     
  9. The_Guard

    The_Guard Well-Known Member

    The worst feeling a child (Of any age) can have is losing a parent.
    This is true from age 1, all the way to the age that we pass away at. I know, not because i have lost either one of my parent's, (to death anyways) but because I have seen both of my parent's lose both of their mothers.

    It's hard to find a reason to hang on sometimes, but, that reason is truly right in front of your eyes. Your children. Children are the most valuable thing on this earth, they are the future, and parent's especially influence them and the way their lives go. Children are often a direct reflection of their parents, as scary as it is.
    So set a good example, and when you see them, remember to smile, and most importantly remember to hold on.
     
  10. Johan77

    Johan77 New Member

    Hi. I am Joao. You should be proud of yourself to react to the injustices done to you and your children. Only a very human and caring person would think of others in the midst of a turmoil. Please, you are not what that woman reduces you to. You are more than that. I never met my father and my grandfather started raping me as i was 8... for 4 years. My mother is very absent and most of my life i spent all alone. But two years ago i met a guy, and he showed me for the first time ever i made a difference.
    I still hate myself and think daily of a way out, but it is much better than before.
    Be strong. You have two kids who will bring you joy and meaning and countless women would give their right arm for a caring man. I knkw i would.
     
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