I am

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Cariad_Bach, Jan 9, 2014.

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  1. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    A Fucking idiot.

    A stupid fuck, fucking idiot.

    I hate myself. There is not enough SH in the world to give me what I deserve.

    I'm not supposed to be suicidal anymore. I'm supposed to be getting over that, moving on. Lots of the time I feel like I am.

    But I am a FUCKING IDIOT

    I'm full of pain anf tears and self-loathing. And anger. At myself, mainly, but easily directed elsewhere.

    God I wish I had the guts to properly do myself some damage.

    I wish I didn't have all these ties to the world.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you are NOT that ok you are a caring person and i am sorry someone is harming you or hurting you emotionally god i am sorry but you deserve only only kindness and care hugs
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Can you take a deep breath, relax & try to calm down? I am a master at asking stupid questions because I don't particularly care what people think of me... But guess what? I've only seen you posting around here briefly, and from what I have observed you basically ROCK. THE HECK. OUT! :)

    Depression is a disease which manifest itself in the mind, or brain--an organ. So, please be willing to put down the big stick you're beating yourself with, as it's not at all your fault. It's the condition. I have it too! And I have to pull out all the stops from time to time in order to trick it into giving me a little break; or better yet, going away altogether...

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay you're feeling this way, so don't let it get to you.:) The sooner you can get back to being the cool that is you, the better it is for all of us.
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member


    generally when i feel as you do, something triggered me... so what happened?
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Can you tell us (or someone you trust) why you feel like this Cariad Bach?
  6. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    I can't tell them that they are hurting me because I am let them. So it is my own fault.
    Plus they feel really bad about it, and hold me and comfort me and tell me everything will be alright and that I'm lovely and beautiful and they are proud of me and that they love me and that I am safe with them.
    And I don't want to lose them.

    P.s. Thank you for the kind comments.
  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    there are just trip ups we gotta just get ourselves back up on our two feet and keep going sometimes we do screw up and we're stronger as a person from the experience. Hope youre feeling better by now. :smile-new:
  8. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Thank you all, you're very kind.
    I am not angry, anymore.
  9. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Music to my ears!
  10. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    I do feel the same - i had a 'different' lifestyle years ago.
    I allowed someone to befriend me who was aware of this.
    Result ....my new almost perfect life destroyed because of this.
    I did attempt suicide.
    But im still here trying to get there.
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