A Fucking idiot. A stupid fuck, fucking idiot. I hate myself. There is not enough SH in the world to give me what I deserve. I'm not supposed to be suicidal anymore. I'm supposed to be getting over that, moving on. Lots of the time I feel like I am. But I am a FUCKING IDIOT I'm full of pain anf tears and self-loathing. And anger. At myself, mainly, but easily directed elsewhere. God I wish I had the guts to properly do myself some damage. I wish I didn't have all these ties to the world.