I am...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by planechaser, Oct 11, 2009.

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  1. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    worthless, useless, friendless, agitated, irritated, angry, depressed, lonely, suicidal, lifeless, empty, a nobody, like my life is going to end and not a single person really seems to care
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I care, and I'm around if you want to talk. You're not worthless or useless, and your life is worth something. Please don't give up, what's wrong?
     
  3. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    Im doing my best to hold on. but..its getting harder and harder each day to even climb out of bed and do the normal daily tasks of life. i was doing good for a while, but now it all seems so pointless to continue. i dont know what im doing anymore..my life is a complete lie lately. i cant stand to continue lying to others about how im doing. yea, they ask and i wil tell them a bit, but other than that i cant even tell them that i come up with plans all the time.

    i just cant keep doing this
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know it's hard to hold on, but I'm glad you're still trying. Is there a reason you can only tell people a little of how you're doing, but not everything?
     
  5. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    I just cant tell them, i back down every time. i have said things in the past and they dont ever seem to really care, so why bother them with it now
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You said you were doing good for a while, but now you're feeling pretty bad. Did something happen to cause everything to change?

    Keep talking here, there are always people who care. I know it's not the same as having people to talk to face-to-face, but it's something.
     
  7. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    thats the thing, nothing happened
     
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just remember that if you were doing okay for a while, you can feel that way again. The feelings you're having now won't last forever, even if it seems like they will. You can get through this and to a point where you feel better.
     
  9. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    it cycles thru all the damn time and i am sick and tired of it...same shit different day...cant keep doing this
     
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You ever seen a therapist or talked to a doctor, to try and figure out why things cycle so much for you?
     
  11. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    yep, i have Bi-Polar. the meds stopped working a while ago. i go to therapy every other week and i express myself just not all the way..i should but i never seem to be able to tell it all..i always have things to say they just dont come out
     
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You could try writing everything down ahead of time, so that if you can't find the words when you get there, you can hand your therapist what you wrote. I know a lot of people who do that for therapy sessions, and it seems to work. If they know what's going on, maybe they can suggest either an increase in the meds you're on now, or new ones.
     
  13. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    yea i bring stuff in we talk about it then i feel like a complete dumbass cuz i hate talking about myself
     
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not a dumbass. It's okay to talk about yourself.
     
  15. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    im sorry but i grew up in an atmosphere where i wasnt allowed to talk about myself or i would be made fun of or even punished because someone else had it harder in my family..i had to be the happy child that held everything together and did everything for everyone else..i wasnt allowed to be depressed.. i wasnt allowed to say anything about myself.. nothing..so now that i am older i have that instilled in me.. so its ten times harder to speak
     
  16. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It's okay, you don't have to apologize. I have an idea what that's like, because when I was younger I was taught that it was wrong to cry. It's taken me ages to get past that, so I know how hard it can be.

    Have you ever tried blogging, or keeping a sort of journal or diary? Sometimes it's easier to write down how you feel than to actually say it.
     
  17. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    i just cant seem to shake these thoughts!!! i have been thinking of what to write in a note too!!! i fricken hate this
     
  18. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    i dont even know what im doing here!! nothing is working out right..so many fucking struggles each and every god damned day!!! THIS NEVER ENDS AND IM SICK OF IT!!!!
     
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Plane! I'm alwas around if you need a friendly ear :)
     
  20. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    thinking too much.
     
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