i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see ya

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lilly, Jan 23, 2011.

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  1. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    im sorry, it's not my fault that i was born, i really had no say in the matter. they just went off and, ya know had me, fully knowing that i would probly be as fucked up as they are. im sorry it happened...
    I didn't mean to come to this site and bother anybody, i just kind of found it one day.
    I was really looking for more, like, pro kind of shit, because i guess thats just how fucked i am.
    Im sorry i swear so much too.
    i cant...make things come out right when im thinking about these things...it always sounds wrong, or annoying, or like im being stupid or looking for attention.
    i dont want attention, i could care less if anyone reads this, or replies to it, or gives a rats ass about what i have to say.
    I just dropped in for a little bit anyways.
    Here's what my main point is:
    I woke up this morning, and i had an epiphany. What am i doing with my life? i thought. school? woop dee, even that i cant do right. All those times that i tried to OD myself, i finaly realized why it never worked. It wasn't GOD saying i should attempt to stay here like the Bishop tried to tell me, it was something else. I finally figured it out. I was using the wrong pills. Tylonel wont do anything but slowly damage your liver, you cant DIE from it unless your allergic to one of the ingredients.
    So i organized a new plan.
    I thought this one through. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> should work right? my fren takes these REALLY strong ones, prescription, but she doesnt always remember to take them. Sometimes she just doesnt want to and she hides them in her pillow case so that her mom doesnt notice or something...so i stole them. there must be at least 80 here.
    I know i know its wrong to steal from a fren right? but shes not using them anyways, and i need them.
    I have them, I have some tequilla, and I have a kiwee, im allergic to them, so i figured itd be better measures to have them too. IDK why, i guess ill just be a dead girl covered in hives. Not like im pretty to begin with.
    I thought id just tell everybody that.
    i had to say something. Just the way that i am.
    It might still not work. Who knows? GOD might actually want me here, if he's even there....who knows that either. Hopefully ill soon find out.
    Goodbye.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2011
  2. gamergirl

    gamergirl Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    i hope you fail your attempt
     
  3. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    so do i, i hope you lose your pain, not your life.
     
  4. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    Please think about this before doing anything...
    You took your friends pills.
    They will be SOOOOOOOOO UTTERLY DEVASTED tht u OD'd on their stuff.
    they will blame themselves and never b able to forgive themselves for wat they did to u and allowed u to do.
    after all if they didnt have them meds , or if they had taken them properly, then u wuldnt of been able to OD on them
    i hope u rethink
     
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    Hello Lilly!

    no need to apologize, this is what the site is for

    please don't say bad things about yourself.

    maybe there is a way you can live and be happy, or at least find that you would rather be alive than dead.


    why not stay and talk some more?
     
  6. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    Lilly please. Please don't do this. I know you are hurting and you are angry, but please stay online and talk this through with us. :hug:
     
  7. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    It doesn't sound much like an epiphany, more a very bad idea. Self poisoning isn't ideal at all unless you are 100% sure of what you're doing. You'll be hurting much worse if you don't understand what you're doing. Liver failure will be agony.

    I can see you are upset with how things are in your life. no one wants to see you damage yourself in this way, not least your friend whom you, ahem, stole pills from. How woud she feel? Can you imagine? Please don't take anything. You said you can't think straight when you feel this way. Why not give yourself some time out to actual think what you are going to potentially do to yourself. Talk to someone here, or where you are there. Don't let your emotions rule your head over something like this it's too important.
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    Please don't try to harm yourself again Lilly. Love yourself instead. :hug:
     
  9. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    it didnt work anyways, I have a roommate who thought i was acting suspicious, she went and told our staff that i she thought i was going to do something, and the pills were confiscated, alon with over half my belonging as my bedroom was searched, and i ot to spend a lovely rest of the evening in the hospital waiting room after which i got to talk to a lovely crisis worker bitch who was very rude and wore too much blush. o_O i could SMELL the blush seriously. I mean i dont jude ppl by how they look normally but....it was ridiculous. but yea, she did at least have knowledge on meds, and the pills i had, they wouldnt have killed me. They would have made me sleep for a while, and made it so i possibly needed a new liver, or put me in a coma, but all that can be cured.
    i then thought, jeez, i should pay more attention in Chemistry, and like Health.
    or just talk to a shrink or something
    Im clearly not normal.
    you uys were really supportive though, Thanks.
    <3
     
  10. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    Re: i apologise i came here & disturbed yu all/another rant by the annoying girl/see

    im glad ur room mate looked out for u. they obv did tht cus they care!
    see if ya had done it u wudnt of bin where ya wanted to b .
    look for some help now, u clearly want out and for things to change. speak to docs see wat they can do. they wil have more answers than ur hope-for-the-best plans
     
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