I Apologise.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Ish., Jan 11, 2009.

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  1. Ish.

    Ish. Guest

    For those who spoke to me last night. And basically every night since Christmas time..
    I want to apologise for the drinking, for my behaviour on drugs and booze.
    This was heading the wrong way, and it shouldn't have taken losing a friend to make me realise that.
    As much as SF can help, and as much fun as I can have with people... This place doesn't always do me good.
    Chatting with people is so much fun that I cannot get myself to go to bed in time.
    Skyping with people is fun, but I need drinks to get over my shyness, which is not good. Especially not on work nights.

    I managed to get myself into trouble at work because of the amount of times I've called in sick over the past 7 months.
    Of course I 'dealed' with that through drinking even more. Cos that's how I deal, eh. Drink it all away. Yeah it helps. Until you start losing the ones you love over it.
    Because, honestly, who wants to be friends with a pisshead?

    I thought people liked me when I was drunk. That I was a good laugh. Until things escalated a bit last night.

    Hence why I'm on leave until next weekend, for now.

    The meet over here is coming up and I hope i didn't scare anyone off so bad they don't want to come anymore. (Not that there were that many attendees in the first place..)

    Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked here.
    My apologies for my behaviour, I've put any alcohol I had away from my room, I'm on leave from here. So I will get my sleeping pattern back in order, as well as my drinking behaviour back in line. Since I can not sit downstairs anymore at night, I won't be up hanging out with house mates anymore until early in the morning, so that won't be a thread for my sleeping pattern either.

    What was the exact point of this thread, apart from apologising? To show that I really am willing to work on things. (I would say, really am working on things, but you can hardly say that after one night, can you?)

    Because there's no way I'm gonna let myself slip all the way back to my 2007-behaviour-that-got-me-banned-from-here. There's no way I'm gonna let myself ruin my friendships. There's no way I'm gonna let myself hurt my friends any more that way.

    Sending my love,
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Proud that you can see that your going down hill Est. Thats a major step. Think about the stuff we talked about the other night. The god knows how many hours of straight talking :tongue: You've worked so hard to get where u are right now and the people closest to you and know you well don't want you to fuck that up because you have come so far! You know you can come to me about anything.

    Love u,


    Ps. I don't think you've lost anyone.
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    :hug: take care of yourself.

    You've got a lot of insight into what's going on for you and I do hope you feel better soon. It's a bit like knowing when you're going to slip too much downward and doing whatever you can to stop falling too fast.
  4. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    good luck, i really hope you're able to sort it out, for more reasons than you know.
  5. alle_vite

    alle_vite Well-Known Member

    :eek: est hunni, im here if you need to talk i didnt realise things were like this for you, Please stay safe and i hope you get things back on track for yourself. You know im always around if you need to chat

    Stay safe
  6. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: Est.

    Hope you feel better soon and get things back on track.
  7. JayLee

    JayLee Well-Known Member


    No reason to apologize to me as I told you last night. :) I love you loads and I'm glad you're realizing this stuff. :hug: Just know that I'm here and lean on me if you need to, you know where to find me and how to contact me so never ever hesitate. You're a great friend and I'll always be here for you.

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