I attempted suicide again last night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iicookieii, Apr 28, 2014.

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  1. iicookieii

    iicookieii Active Member

    And now I'm just angry and frustrated because I cannot die. Why is it that people die on accident all the time, and yet those who actually do want to die become immortal? I don't understand. I guess I'll just have to do more research and get things right, because I honestly don't want to exist anymore.
  2. iicookieii

    iicookieii Active Member

    Why is it so hard to die?

    Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I wish I had some way to kill myself now, but I don't. My original plan only works when I'm at home, and being at college is too hectic and unpredictable. Even if I could do it, I'd probably be found before I died and that would be no good.

    I'll have to see how far this inability to die goes. I've only ever looked into two methods, but I guess I'll have to look into more since this one and the other one clearly aren't working.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: Why is it so hard to die?

    INstead of using your energy to find a way to leave use your energy to find a way to heal ok to find a way to take the sadness and pain away not you use your energy to get you strong again so you do not bring anymore sadness into the world to the people who care for you
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are still here to fight another day to find a way to not be so sad ok depression is treatable it is so use your time to heal ok
  5. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    all i can say is, i understand and feel your pain...
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Re: Why is it so hard to die?

    I have heard of too many people suffering lifetime of effects from botched attempts. Their liver, brain or heart damaged. They regret the attempt. I have heard people talking about their personal expereince with botched attempts. And also have read a book on how to suicide. There are warnings in the book about the severe reprecussions from botched attempt. The warning is that if the attempt gets to a certain point and then does not succeed, the person will be in a permanant vegetative state.

    Believe me, I want to die. Very much. But I know that the odds are stacked against an attempt succeeding. I think the statistics are 80 percent of attempts end in the person surviving. But sometimes in more pain than before the attempt.

    Is there a way that you could get help from a school counselor or a therapist? Anyone? Can you talk about why it is that you want to suicide? Is it depression due to a spefic thing? Sorry the pain is so great. And again, I really do understand wanting to die. Oh how I understand. But I also know I am not going to risk suicide. For more reasons than I just wrote.
  7. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Re: Why is it so hard to die?

    The trouble is iicokkieii we all have an inbuilt survival instinct which is difficult to override; as you will see in some methods ----- Before I earn another infraction - enough said

    (ACY/NYJM/WC No method posted)
  8. Jae

    Jae Well-Known Member

    ...i do research some methods too..those kinds of soft but you know...but then..it all failed..i know how it feels...and i feel bad whenever i fail my attempts...so i try to hold a little more...i wish you the same...even its hard..
  9. iicookieii

    iicookieii Active Member

    Re: Why is it so hard to die?

    I want to die because I don't want to live in this world anymore, I really don't. And I'll never tell anyone in person that I've attempted suicide and am still planning to kill myself, especially since last time I did I went through a horrible experience at the hospital.
  10. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    I understand how you feel, even though you failed maybe there's still hope left for you. You may not believe there is no longer hope for you, but keep trying to hold on for as long as you can. I'm glad to hear you're still with us. :)
  11. iicookieii

    iicookieii Active Member

    And Again

    Sat at a local lake in the rain before hand and got soaking wet, feeling nostalgic and texting someone from a teen crisis chat line.

    I tried, but not hard enough.

    With that method it's hard, because it's something you can easily back out of. Now it's hard to swallow and my neck hurts bad. I'm just staying up late wondering why I can't seem to die. I'll try again tomorrow.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2014
  12. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Re: And Again

    Why is it that you want to die? Is there any other way you can repress these feelings like for example talk to somebody close to you? Its good that your texting a teen crisis chat line and getting support from them. Maybe try and talk to the people that you live with. Do you go to college/uni? Maybe talk to a tutor or close friend/ counsellor at one of these places. Don't give up hope x
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: And Again

    Tomorrow is a new day to try to reach out to professional help ok reach out iicookieii please hugs
  14. iicookieii

    iicookieii Active Member

    How long 'till the end?

    I'm really, really tired of living now. Every moment is spent either researching methods to kill myself or walking in a dream-like phase. I'm tired- really, really tired.

    I am so tired of going to bed and waking up and that frustrating feeling of knowing I failed yet another attempt to take my life. But I have to. I'll try everyday to kill myself until I get it right and die.
  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: How long 'till the end?

    As i have said before hun this site is pro life we support each other to keep us safe Go into hospital talk to crisis line talk to your gp a councelor and get help ok You do not have to live with this thought with this sadness reach out to supports that are there to help you
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