I did, and if it weren't for my friends calling the ambulance, I may not be here today. Or I may be. I have no idea if it would've worked or not. But I actually tried to kill myself this time. I actually went ahead and did it. I never thought I would, but I did. I'm sure if I'm relieved it worked or not. Should I be glad I'm alive? I don't feel any relief. I don't really feel any disappointment, either. It's just like...I've just been released from the hospital, aaaand life goes on. Tomorrow I take tests, do homework, eat lunch, play video games. All that's missing is a day in my mind. Monday was almost completely a blank. My hospital report said that I swore and tried to physically attack the police and paramedics, but I don't remember any of it. I just remember waking up in a dark room last night on a mattress on the floor. I still hate the psych ward as much as I did last year. But they let me out early because I convinced them it was an accident. No way was I staying there any longer. I told my friends the truth, though. Doesn't matter if they know or not, they won't be able to stop me if I try again. I told my counselor that before. I'll just need a better plan next time. Ha, look at me, still being depressing. I've learned nothing from this. Oh, well.