I've spent about three years total inside now. I feel like I get stupider ever year, more hopeless, more helpless. I still have no friends. I live with my boyfriend but I feel so alone. I think I really am broken now. Beyond repair. I want to feel like a person again. I want to feel loved and seen. It's been so long since I've felt that. I feel doomed now instead. Doomed to be alone. No one will stay in my life. I don't want this life but I'm stuck here. Not enough money to move away on my own. Not stable enough to live on my own anyways... I don't know what to do. I just know I want things to change. I want to be someone again.