I use my fists. I've done it almost to the point of loosening teeth. The worst thing is the spontaneous nature of it. When I punch myself, it's almost like a sneeze. It just happens. It's distressing, and as soon as I start it can be hard to stop, since the rage builds and builds. I'd punch walls or something, but I'm more afraid of damaging my property than my body. Sometimes I cut, too, but only if I find the time :s. I'm very upset about it. I'm seventeen, and when I come home from college, my mom nags the shit out of me and refuses to appologize for anything. The only reason she talks to me is to get me to do things or to talk about school. I get angry at everything, I become dissatisfied with myself, and go to my room and start knocking myself around until I'm satisfied. Sometimes it takes a while. Afterwards, I feel so ashamed, so lonely, so disgusted with myself. Sometimes that prompts another beating session. I'm afraid to take mental-health days because my mom would accuse me of slacking, and then I may just stay home and brood and beat myself. Honestly, I just got done beating myself. My face is still throbbing. I feel so sick.